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February 23, 2009

Semalam pergi berjumpa dengan Ben. Spent time together sangat lama. Balik rumah pukul 1 pagi. Nasib baik adik tak tak tidur lagi. Kalau tak, tak masuk rumahlah saya. By the way, tak perasan la pulak my entries lately were a bit emotional. You see sometimes kalau kita tengah sedih, memanglah kita akan tulis something yang at least dapat kurangkan rasa sedih kita. Anyways, sorry to all kalau rasa lately entry saya macam nak tak best.
Ok nak cerita pasal semalamlah! Semalam saya dengan Ben tengok movie Korea. Sangat best!! Two thumbs up!!Tajuk movie tu ialah He Was Cool. Cerita tentang seorang bully yang tersangat samseng tapi at the end jatuh cinta dengan seorang perempuan yang rupa-rupanya his crushed masa sekolah tadika dulu. Tapi yang paling best lelaki tu sangat sweet walaupun seorang samseng. Haha. Bestlah! Nak tengok lagi. Oklah. Nak breakfast. Lapar. Till then. Assalamualaikum.

February 22, 2009

Jiwa kacau. Memang betul kata orang tahun ketiga penuh dengan dugaan dan cabaran. Kawan-kawan, jangan terkejut kalau saya tak kahwin sampai tua. Saya dah pasrah dan berserah sahaja walaupun cinta tak kesampaian. Mulai dari sekarang, saya perlu terima kenyataan bahawa nothing last forever. Semua yang hidup pasti akan mati. Setiap pertemuan pasti akan ada perpisahan. Thanks to him sebab dah banyak ajar saya untuk bersabar. Walaupun rasa pengorbanan tak berbaloi tapi saya happy sebab dapat bersama dengan dia hampir tiga tahun. Erm....persoalannya sekarang..perlukah saya pulangkan barang-barang dia?Ataupun perlukah saya simpan sahaja?Sebab saya tak mungkin dapat lupakan dia sampai bila-bila.
Saya betul-betul perlukan kawan saya sekarang. Saya nak nangis sepuas hati saya. Harap-harap dapatlah saya mengajar di Sabah atau Sarawak. Saya nak lari jauh-jauh. Doakan saya dapat ye. Dan saya harap saya tersangatlah tabah untuk semua ini.

February 18, 2009

One of my best friends asked me a question just now about how to forget someone that we really love. He asked me for some advices and tips. Well for me, it's really hard to forget someone especially the one that we really love. If I'm in his shoes, I will throw away all stuffs that reminding me of him/her. Then I will throw away the memories and make the person never exist in my life. I will either hang out with my cliques or spend of my time at home and be alone for a while. Then of course, back to my creator, Allah the all mighty. I'll pray and read the Quran until I feel calm and better. And if I still couldn't forget him, I'll find someone that can replace him/her. My dear friend, this thing may takes some times to heal.Just hang on and cheer up!! I'll always be there for you. What most important is that you have to learn to forgive so it will be easy for you to forget.
Anyways, I'm going back to Melaka today. So I may not be around for a while.
Till then.

February 17, 2009

Hati Kertas

Semalam saya mendapat tahu perkara yang tersangat menyedihkan saya sampai saya rasa sekarang ni saya betul-betul telah heartbroken. Ianya seperti the end of my life. Dan saya rasa saya ialah the most biggest loser on earth. Tapi saya hormat keputusan dia sebab dia dah being honest dengan saya. Walaupun apa yang dia cakap tu terlalu pedih buat saya, tapi saya terima dengan redha. And this is the first time saya tak menangis sebab saya dah terlalu heartbroken sampai dah tak boleh nak keluarkan air mata lagi. Mana-mana perempuan pun akan rasa sedih macam saya when she had done everything to be the best tapi at the end rupa-rupanya the guy don't feel the same way. Si dia belum pun terfikir nak serious dengan saya. Apa selama ni maknanya this relationship is just something yang biasa-biasa saja buat dia?
Kenapalah dia buat saya macam ni? A steady relationship bagi saya bukanlah kena get married secepat mungkin. Bukanlah kena pinang saya esok atau lusa atau tahun depan. Tak. Bagi saya cukup sekadar buat saya rasa selesa dengan sesuatu hubungan tu supaya saya dapat tumpukan perhatian pada masa depan saya. Saya pun masih banyak benda yang perlu saya fikirkan. Bila dah selesa, segala masalah akan dikongsi bersama. Susah dan senang dikongsi bersama.
Kadang-kadang the way he treats me macam hati saya ni hanyalah sekeping kertas. Boleh diremuk-remuk, diconteng-conteng dan dikoyak-koyak. Dan bila diremuk, saya akan betulkan balik, apabila diconteng, saya akan padamkan balik dan apabila dikoyak, saya akan kutip all the pieces and tampalkan balik. Untuk apa? Untuk dikecewakan lagi? Kenapa saya macam tak kisah? Because I truly love him. Biarlah apapun, for me, dia akan sentiasa ada dalam hati saya sampai bila-bila. Hanya Allah sahaja yang maha mengetahui. Now rasa nak being alone for a while.
Till then.

February 15, 2009

It's Sunday!!

Today is Sunday, the day of the week. The day where we spent most of our times with our family and people that we love and care so much. Oh yes, I just realized that last Friday was "Friday the 13th". Huhu..Scary huh? When I was younger, I do believe what other people said about "Friday the 13th" Actually until now, I'm still waiting for that day to see what will happen. You know what, I saw something when I was in the kitchen ALONE. That thing moved so fast. Well it wasn't the first time I saw it here. It was my third time. And it was the same thing. And those three incident happen during Maghrib. Apakah benda tersebut?
Back to the topic. Tadi my sister, her family and I went to Jusco. We had our lunch there at Pizza Hut. I know,I know!I'd promised to boycott Israel but it takes time. My nieces love pizza. It so hard to resist pizza. This kind of thing will take some times. Just want to share the precious moment with you.

That's me (without any make-up:]), Aliah and Fatihah

Me and Aliah

Aliah's showing off her teeth. Hehe. Mr. Zaffan, that's Aliah. She's really really really wants to meet you, honey. Overall, I could say that today was fun even tough the service at Pizza Hut was so slow, yet saya sangat kenyang! Tomorrow I have something that is so important for me. Wish me luck and pray for my success. Till then.

February 14, 2009

14th February

14th February? What is all about? Not a Valentine's Day. Seriously, I don't celebrate Valentine. He doesn't want us to celebrate it. Because there is something else beside Valentine's Day. Something special for him, not for me of course. I guess right now he's maybe having a flashback of his sweet memories before. Well I don't mind it. Seriously. First love is hard to forget. I understand that well enough. Besides,he has the right to do whatever he wants to. Tapi sejak semalam dan hari ni kan, dia susah sangat nak balas sms saya. Patutlah dia bosan nak layan saya semalam. Agak-agaknya kenapa ya? Pelik? Tak tahu? Diam-diam sudah. Oklah. Saya tak ada mood nak memblog panjang-panjang. Till then.

February 13, 2009

Mindnight Entry

Bila seseorang itu inform kat saya yang dia bosan malam ni, saya tahu maksud dia. He's not in the mood to sms or call me. Well I have to accept it since he did told me that dia layan saya ikut mood. Kalau dia tak rasa nak layan saya, dia tak layanlah. So pathetic. Jadi mari memblog. Malam ini nak cerita pasal perubahan. Changes. "People change and so do i". What a common sentence! Some people change from worst to good and from good to better. There are also people who change dramatically from better to good and from good to worst. It's all depend on us. Sebab hanya diri sendiri yang tahu apa yang kita mahu. Saya bersyukur sebab saya dah jumpa someone yang dapat mengubah diri saya to become a better person. I still remember hadiah selendang pink yang dia bagi kat saya masa raya tahun 2007. Saya fahamlah maksudnya tu. Mula-mula memang berubah kerana dia tapi lama-kelamaan saya menjadi betul-betul ikhlas dan berubah kerana Allah. Bukan dipaksa. Dan insyaAllah lepas ni akan cuba lagi untuk buang tabiat-tabiat yang tak berapa nak elok yang masih ada dalam diri saya ni.
Well that's my story. Tapikan sesetengah orang tidak. Ada yang berubah dari elok ke tidak berapa nak elok. huh? Macam pelik? Mungkin mereka adalah mangsa kejutan budaya (culture shock). Datang dari kampung, sopan pakaiannya. Tapi akhirnya tewas juga dengan budaya bandar. Tewas dengan pengaruh-pengaruh yang kurang baik. Dulu saya pun ragu-ragu bila buat keputusan nak pakai tudung. It means saya kena buat major wardrobe clearance sebab baju-baju saya dah tak berapa nak sesuai lagi dengan imej baru saya. Well that's ok. Saya tak kisah. Dan saya senang sekarang sebab saya still lagi boleh bergaya! I'm still hot (eww..perasan kot). Well jangan tengok saya, memang tak meletup. Tapi tengok handbag dan kasut saya. Hehe.:P
Itulah kehidupan. Kita jangan cepat tewas. Jangan pula cepat mengalah. Jangan pula berscandal-scandalan. huh?! Motif?!!
O.k. lah. Saya dah mula merepek sebab mata pun sudah mengantuk.
Till then.

February 12, 2009

Warna Kehidupan

Semalam saya banyak meghabiskan masa di luar, makanya tak dapatlah saya mengupdate blog. First, teman my sis pergi UKM, then sampai sana office tutup. Lunch break. So we went to Kompleks PKNS Bangi for lunch. Teringat Kompleks PKNS dekat Shah Alam. Bangunan lebih kurang sama tapi colour je lain. And the one at Shah Alam is much more bigger than at Bangi. Kemudian ke surau kejap solat, dan ke UKM balik submit form. Then ke Menara Celcom. Settled this and that,went to rumah mak abang ipar saya. Melawat kakaknya yang baru keluar ward. Sangat sedih melihat keadaan dia. Lepas satu sakit, sakit yang lain datang menimpa. Tapi of course saya takla nangis kat situ teresak-esak.
Ok..back to the topic. The point is, dalam hidup ini terdapat banyak warna-warna yang melambangkan kehidupan seseorang itu. Well itulah warna kehidupan (the colour of life). Bagi mereka yang sedang mengalami penderitaan, of courselah hidup mereka dihiasi oleh warna-warna yang gelap, seperti tiada harapan untuk matahari bersinar hari esok. Cuba kita renungkan apa yang berlaku di Gaza. Negara mereka ibarat diselubungi kain hitam yang menutup segala harapan penduduknya especially kanak-kanak. Bagi mereka yang sedang aman damai mestilah warna-warna yang mendamaikan serta menenangkan like green or blue, menghiasi hidup mereka. Bagaimana pula bagi sesetengah yang sedang dilamun cinta?Atau mereka yang sedang mengecapi kemewahan,kesenangan serta kejayaan?Mereka yang mengalami kegagalan? Mereka yang jiwanya berkecamuk? Ada orang yang sentiasa ceria,ada orang sentiasa marah dan suka mencari kesalahan orang lain. Ada orang yang berlagak pandai tapi hakikatnya dia tidaklah sebegitu. Ada orang yang hipokrit, ada pula yang jiwanya kacau. Ada orang yang suka mencetuskan masalah. Ada orang yang suka membuat scandal. Huh?Scandal??
Hidup ini ibarat satu lukisan. Jadi apakah warna kehidupan kamu? Saya pula bagaimana?
Till then.
Assalamualaikum.

February 10, 2009

Suddenly

Suddenly I feel like I'm hopeless.

And suddenly i feel like lately shopping makes me bored..huh?Really?
Suddenly I feel like I'm the loneliest creature on earth
Suddenly I feel like I'm a jerk?huh??
Suddenly I feel like everybody is laughing on me
Suddenly I'm scared
And suddenly I want to cry

Am I going out of my mind?
Why is it so sudden?
Well..it should be "suddenly"..
What a crap~

February 09, 2009

Tentang Saya

  • Saya suka handbag, clothes and shoes. Bila tengok handbag, dari demam saya boleh jadi sihatlah!
  • Saya seorang perempuan yang tak pakai sneakers. Saya lagi prefer memakai flat or wedges.
  • Saya suka tengok football* match. *not American football*
  • Saya suka gardening. Tapi di Seremban tak dapat berkebunlah!
  • Saya sayang "WPY7923". It takes me everywhere I want to go=')
  • Saya sayang driving licence saya.hehe
  • Cooking is my priority. Ceh..tak menahan. Saya tersangat suka memasaklah!
  • Saya suka makan cake.
  • Saya suka ikan emas.
  • Saya suka tengok movie. Tersangatlah suka!!I wish that one day dapat buat movie marathon dari pagi sampai midnight. Anyone??
  • Saya tak suka makan satay, ayam percik dan makanan yang sewaktu dengannya.
  • Saya bukan type of girl yang geli lipas. Saya geli katak, tikus dan cacing instead of lipas.
  • Saya suka buat orang ketawa.
  • Saya tak suka bila i have to act like a grown up tapi hakikatnya saya nak menangis.
  • Saya sayang parents saya.
  • Saya sayang Encik Zaffan saya.
  • Saya sayang siblings saya.
  • Saya sayang my nieces and my nephews.
  • Saya suka diri saya.
  • Saya sayang saya
  • Saya sayang saya
  • Saya sayang sayalah!

This is life

It's Monday morning. Typical Monday morning. Nothing much to do. Still doing thoroughly search for stuffs in the store and wardrobe. Finding things to sell. I'm getting bored with my life,lately. Nothing much to do other than shopping, shopping and shopping. Buying this and buying that. My clothes are more than enough but still, I only wear clothes that I love most. The others? Just for my wardrobe decor. My shoes also are more than enough. From slippers to thong and from flats to wedges. Still I'm wearing my same favourite shoes. I miss my friends still I have no friends to hang out with. And I'm still waiting for next surprises. Surprise, surprise and surprises! I love surprises. Scary surprises or shocking surprises. Or maybe a surprise that will make me jumped into tears. The tears of happiness. A marriage proposal perhaps.

Well this is life. Mine is full of hope and surprises. Still hoping for miracle. Still hoping for that moment. Still hoping that i can sell more stuffs. Still hoping for some profit. See..mine is full of hope. Told you!Till then.
Assalamualaikum.

Orang Tengah

Sekarang ni saya tengah tunggu Encik Z balik dari tengok bola. Man. U vs West Ham.Bukan pasukan pilihan saya, jadi tak perlulah saya tengok.Tapi tadi saya tengok bola juga. My favourite team, Arsenal, menentang Tottenham. Macam biasalah seri. Sedih gitu. Really hoping that they will win the game.
O.k.lah let's get back to the topic. Time saya memasak tadi, saya dengar lagu Lucky by Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Caillat. I was like smiling to myself. Well lagu tersebut macam ada kena-mengena dengan sayalah.
"They don't know how long it takes,
Waiting for a love like this,
Every time we say goodbye,
I wish we had one more kiss,
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will..."
Sangat suka part tersebut. wee~ Anyways, bila dah mula teringat, macam-macamlah yang saya dah flashback balik. Maka, marilah kita berkongsi cerita. Sejak dari sekolah rendah dulu saya bukanlah top student or hotties. I'm just an ordinary, typical girl. Tapi saya sentiasa menjadi mangsa keadaan. Menjadi orang tengah. Pelik? Taklah, tak pelik pun. When I was in primary school, i had 2 bestfriends. Both of them are pretty and cantik gitu. Masih ingat lagi masa darjah 5 and darjah 6. Saya tersepit di antara cinta dan sahabat. Ceh, ayat tak tahan. Well the story was like this. There's a guy who was so into one of my bestfriends. Dan saya rasa she also had the same feeling. Saya rasalah. It was like the whole school knew about it. But then one day, saya pergilah pulangkan penyapu yang telah saya pinjam dekat kelas that guy, and he was like staring me. Then I said thanks and went back to my class. Sejak hari tu, tiap kali lalu kelas dia, mesti bising-bising. Pernah sekali dia dan kawan-kawannya tunggu saya masa rehat and bagi saya chocolate. Saya tak makan pun chocolate tu. Tak ingat whether saya buang or bagi adik. Saya tak layan dia dan abaikan everything. Yalah, kan melibatkan my bestfriend. Takkan nak hurt my bestfriend's feeling. Lagipun too early for puppy love. Bukankah pelajaran lebih penting? Tapi waktu tu sangat rasa bersalah bila that guy bagi letter kat my bestfriend, and talking about me dan siap suruh kirim-kirim salam gitu. Apa perasaan kamu kalau di tempat saya?
When I was in secondary school, lain pula ceritanya. Saya menjadi medium perhubungan antara kawan saya yang sorang ni dengan buah hatinya iaitu salah seorang teman rapat saya. Tapi kali ni, saya patut rasa bersalah sebab menaruh perasaan dekat buah hati orang. Tapi saya bukanlah wicked. Saya tak pernah sekalipun ganggu their relationship. Saya happy bila tengok kawan-kawan saya happy. Apa yang saya rasa, hanya saya dan Tuhan saja yang tahu. But sooner or later, Tuhan mesti kurniakan kita sesuatu di atas kesabaran kita. Jadi just sabar and let go everything. Well, I could say that jadi orang tengah ni sebenarnya sangat bahayalah,tahu tak? Kadang-kadang ada orang anggap orang tengah ni perampas. Tapi bagi saya tidak. Nak tahu kenapa?? Sebab saya pernah jadi orang tengahlah!
Till then. Assalamualaikum.

February 08, 2009

Triple One

Triple one? Macam pelikkan? Actually ini ialah entry saya yang ke-111. Malam semalam sangat terasa nak post satu entry tapi saya letihlah! Ber-ym dengan sweetheart and then talking on the phone with him sampai saya tidur. Makanya, tak sempatlah!
Sekarang ni hati saya semakin risau sebab rashes di muka dah kembali lagi. Yesterday saya makan udang. Walaupun saya tahu saya tak boleh makan seafood dalam kuantiti yang banyak, tapi saya tak tahanlah. Dah hampir berbulan saya tak makan seafood. Dan tadi saya makan ketam pula. Lepas ini terpaksalah saya tak makan seafood lagi. Tapi tahukah kamu berbanding ayam, daging dan seafood, i love seafood most! Sebab seafood tak menjemukan. Selalunya kita memang suka makan benda yang tak boleh kita makan, kan? Haih~
Oh ya! Lately dah sangat addicted dengan cake baru di Secret Recipe, my favourite place ever!
Nak tahu cake yang mana? Please have a look at the picture below.


Secret Recepi's Hazel Cheese..Wee~ Sangat teruja kan? Memang sangat teruja sebab cake tersebut sangat superb! Extraordinary tasty! Sedap sangat! Marvellous!Rich hazelnut cheese filling with roasted hazelnut crust. Yummy!! Jadi ada sesiapakah yang nak belanja saya makan cake tersebut? Anyone?*wink*

*Encik Z...jom makan cake?*

February 06, 2009

Sedar Tak Sedar

Sangat cepat masa berlalu. Kalau sepuluh tahun yang lepas, saya baru sahaja masuk ke alam sekolah menengah. Dan saya masih lagi tiada adik-beradik in-law. Dan kakak-kakak saya masih slim dan kami still boleh kongsi baju. But now, I'd already have 5 nieces and 4 nephews! And my sis dah "membesar", maka tak dapatlah kami sharing baju lagi. Anyways, time selak-selak pictures dalam lappy ni, terjumpalah satu photo. This photo was taken during hari raya yang lepas. A few days after first hari raya. I just want to share this photo with you. Bukan senang nak dapat ambil gambar penuh, i mean semua my family members ada. Photo ni pun without my 2nd big bro and his two sons and also without Farisha and Danish.


We are not that ready in this photo. But I like it!Nampak tak baby yang duduk atas lantai tu? Comelkan? Ada gaya tersendiri. That's my Qistina, my sister's daughter and one of my favourite nieces. Miss her so much! Ok then..Try find me!=)

*can't remember whether dah pernah share gambar ni ke tak.....

February 05, 2009

...

Last Tuesday i went for a date with, well you know, Encik. Zaffan. It was a not-so-well-prepared date but everything went just fine! We went for a movie Inkheart and it's worth spending RM12 for the ticket. I love that kind of movie where fantasy comes alive. It's a story about a man who is gifted with the power to bring the characters to life from the books he reads aloud. And so his daughter is also gifted with the power. He and her daughter is on a quest to save his wife and bring her back out from a book which he had read it loudly. I just couldn't tell more. Just grab the movie ticket and watch it by yourself. I feel like i want to watch it again and again and again. I don't know why I love this movie so much. Is it maybe because I love reading too??Or maybe because I'm a fan of Brandan Fraser and I never missed his movies..Well..if i had gifted with the power, you know what book will i read aloud?It will be Sabrina the teenage witch or Charmed or Harry Potter so that I could bring all the witches to life and make my life easier!haha.
Anyways, after the movie, we went for a long chat at the "Fruity Gelato" and having ice-creams.
Well....I let out everything because I know I shouldn't burden myself with my feelings and emotions anymore. Try to look at the bright side and try to be optimistic. Things will turn out to be better than ever before!

"Happy Becoming 3rd year of Anniversary to us."

Till then, assalamualaikum.

First Impression

Well..I could say that..first impression is always wrong. So here it is..My blog is open for public again. Sorry for those who I thought the "intruder". Enjoy reading again.
Thank you~

February 02, 2009

Me vs Him

I always want to go for a date with him while he keep looking for excuses and don't want to see me.
I'm a big fan of Arsenal while he is a big fan of Manchester United.
I'm showing my love to him while he tries so hard to hide his love for me.
I travel across miles just to see him while he only waits for me to come and see him.
I always have time for him while he always have time for his friends, not for me.
I always try my best to be perfect for him while he keep on promise me that he will change,soon.
My family blessed our relationship while his family still doesn't know about the existence of our relationship.
I said "I love you more than before" while he said "People change and so do I".
I never cancel our date while canceling a date is his expertise.
I always try my best not to make him cry while he always let my tears running down on my face.
What should I do? 2 years past and I don't know how much longer I could stand for it.
I need chocolate now. Till then~

Announcement

Assalamualaikum.

To all readers, please be informed that i have another blog where i sell my used items. Please visit http://www.moksumaistore.blogspot.com/ for more info. However the blog is still under construction as I need to upload photos of the items. Please be patient. Thank you.