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September 20, 2009

Eid Mubarak

Assalamualaikum semua. Firstly I would like to wish all of my readers Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin. Ampunkan salah dan silap jika saya pernah terkasar atau terkutuk sama ada secara sengaja atau tidak. Hari ni 1 Syawal and I haven't take my shower yet. Saya sedang sibuk menggosok baju dan mengemas rumah. Huu. Beginilah keadaan saya setiap kali Syawal. I will be the last person yang mandi dan get ready for raya.
This raya, all of my family member balik. Semua,ok? Selalunya ada je kakak or abang saya yang dah kahwin tak balik sebab beraya di rumah mertua. But this time semua balik. So it's quite a hectic actually. Sangat ramai dan rumah telah dipenuhi dengan kanak-kanak yang sangat riang ria.
Oh ya! Tahun ni saya dapat 3 kad raya tau. Yay!!Even zaman dah berubah dan semakin moden, tapi ada juga insan yang sudi bagi saya kad raya. 2 daripada kad tersebut anak murid saya yang bagi. Hand-made, tahu? Thanks everyone.

Ini ialah kad raya dari anak murid saya yang Tahun 5

Okaylah, tak boleh lama-lama sebab banyak lagi kerja yang perlu diselesaikan. Again, I wish all of you a very blissful hari raya. Maaf zahir & batin.

September 15, 2009


Sayang dan keinginan untuk memiliki ialah dua benda yang berbeza. Aik?Jiwangnya saya!! Have you ever been in a state di mana kamu rasa kamu macam sangat keliru dengan perasaan kamu? Pernah tak kamu mengalami situasi di mana orang yang kamu nanti, orang yang kamu harap, orang yang you love most buat kamu rasa kamu tidak exist dalam hidup dia? Dia semacam ada dunia dia sendiri tanpa peduli dengan perasaan kamu yang menunggu dia seharian seperti orang yang bodoh? Pernah tak kamu rasa kamu dah give up bila kamu dah berusaha dan buat everything tapi kamu masih di tahap yang sama? Pernahkah kamu pernah? Haih~

Kenapa ya when we started to love someone, and gave that someone everything, your heart and your soul, that someone started to leave you slowly and slowy? Kenapa ya bila kita dah sangat sayangkan orang tu dan dah tak boleh ada pengganti lagi, then suddenly ada orang yang lain muncul yang treat kita lebih baik, tahu mengambil hati kita and will never stop tackling until he gets what he wants? Kenapa ya? I know that my heart won't open to other guy except him tapi bak kata orang belakang pisau kalau dah hari-hari asah, akan tajam juga at the end. *betul ke pepatah aku ni?*

Sekarang dah macam confused. Perlukah tunggu kat someone yang semacam tak bersungguh-sungguh sebab terlalu ego nak show me his love atau perlukah saya beri peluang kepada orang yang tak putus asa try to win my heart no matter what? Tapi masalahnya sekarang is saya mungkin tak mampu nak buat macam tu sebab once he came into my life, I'd placed him in a special space in my heart, locked it and saya dah buang kunci tu jauh-jauh and kunci tu saya dah tak jumpa dah. Ataupun saya just biar je? biar masa yang tentukan everything. Seriously, I'm not good in making decision. Sometimes I feel like I hate life. You know why? Because life is about making decision. Till then. Assalamualaikum.

September 13, 2009

♥ Just For You ♥

Firstly, I'm sorry if this entry will be sort of like jiwang a little bit. It's just that when it comes to 14th September, I will be like in love mode. I keep thinking of him. I wish I could be there right by his side and wishing him a very blissful birthday. *kan best if we were married. Then I could give him a sweet kiss on his cheeks. Perhaps on his lips.wee~* My dear Mr. Z, to be truth there's someone trying so hard to win my heart right now. But don't worry my dear. You will always have my heart. Always, now and forever.
For me, love can be so kind even sometimes it can be full of sorrow. However, everytime when he lets me down, I can heal my broken heart myself because love is soft and it can grow. And because love gives me strength. So what? Hearts can never be practical unless they are made unbreakable, right? But there are times when I feel so lonely. Those time when love can make me feel so weak. But hey!! Love will never give up!! With this love, I put my heart on the line with no regrets. I trust in love because love can make me fall. No matter how bad he treats me, loving him will not be a mistake at all. I will have our memories that will have touched my heart. And that's what makes loving you so worth whiled.

Happy birthday baby. I will always love you..Now, forever and always. Please pray for our happiness. Till then.

September 12, 2009


I woke up this morning with the feeling of laziness. *like always,duh!!* Come on, it's Saturday! You know what it means? It's weekend!!And today, we are planning to have a Raya shopping at Pasar Payang. I think it's okay if I spent few hundreds for raya,kan? Raya pun bukannya selalu. Setahun sekali je.

Okay, let's get back to the topic. WC? Well....It has no link to toilet or washroom or whatever which is connected to that terms,actually. It's about weight crisis. Yes, my weight crisis. My current weight now is below 40 kg. *damn* Remember that I am so into ED (eating disorder) before? Don't worry, I'm now no longer have any relationship with ED. But now I'm struggling to increase my weight a little bit. Seriously, I really want to increase my weight to 45 kg, which is a long way to go. But the problem is I'm too particular on the meals that I'd taken. I'm still afraid of being fat and everytime I look at my picture, it looks like I'm sort of like fat. Could you belive that I'm fat?

Okay, really need your help in helping me get rid of this crisis. I really really want to reach an ideal weight with my height, which is at least 45 kg. HELP ME.

September 11, 2009

This is it.

Assalamualaikum and greetings to everyone. Actually I had plenty of entries in my draft inbox but then I just don't have time to finish it. I'd been busy searching for a flexible time flight ticket from KL to Terengganu this coming 19th October, which unfortunately I'd found none. The last flight from KL to Terengganu is at 8.00 p.m. I'm not sure that I could make it to the airport because that day is his convo and he's not in the morning slot. Sigh~
Okay, let's forget about that for a while. I'm now sort of in a steady state. Why? I just got my salary as a pre-service teacher. Yay! Now I'd already have my steady savings, I can settle all my debts and I can apply for a car loan. I'm not sure about the house loan,but I'm not going to apply for it now. I'm waiting for the next year. Better not to buy a car now as I want to buy a Caldina or a Jazz. Or maybe just a Vios or a City. So I have to wait for next year. Or maybe after posting then I can buy an Alphard for me.. Wee~ I just love working in government sector!! And the most important thing is I just love being a Malaysian. I love Malaysia!! *wee~*
Oh yes. Yesterday I went out with my housemates. We went to Pizza Hut and I had a great dinner: A bowl of soup, a bowl of fresh garden salad, one slice of royal masala, a slice of hawaiian chicken and 2 glasses of warm water. It was so nice and I was so damn full! *smile...smile* After having such a nice dinner, I went to Guardian to buy my supplements. And I bought a bottle of Himalaya's Dandruff shampoo with the hope to remove all the unwanted "white things" on my scalp. *Please go away, dandruff...I'm begging you.Huu~*

Mulut saya yang penuh dengan salad. Sedapnye!!

By the way, Giant was congested with people last night, tahukah?Huu..Aidilfitri is just around the corner. And this year brings so much meanings for me. I paid zakat by myself. This is the first time I paid on my own and now I really feel that I'm no longer being my mak-and-abah's burden anymore. And may this Aidilfitri is blessed and remembered forever. This is it. Till then.

September 08, 2009

Jalan-jalan Cari Makan

Assalamualaikum. Today me and my housemates went out for berbuka puasa. Our destination: Noodle Station. It's like heaven because there're so many items on the menu card*sort of like rambang mata actually* and got ice-blended!!!Yay!! Sangat lama tidak minum coffee or chocolate ice-blended *owh..sangat merindui starbucks dan coffebean*
Okaylah let's see me and my lovely kakak-kakak.

Me and Kak Piah

My housemates (Plus Ida the photographer)

My meal..not so tempting actually..

Dah-dah. Mahu menyiapkan projek Pengurusan Sumber dan lesson plans yang menimbun tu. Till then.

September 06, 2009


To my dear Mr. Z,

I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Miss you so much. Couldn't stop thinking of you. You..and it's only you. Good night my love. Love you always, now and forever.


I bet everyone of us love extra things, and so do I. Let's say if we went to KFC and we asked for cheesy wedges. Some of us will definitely ask for extra cheese on top of it, right? If we ordered for a take away meal, we will say to the crew " Could you please give me extra packages of sauce and tissues?". Then, kalau kita pergi bershopping barang-barang groceries, we will look for items that come with extra thing. Contohnya a buy-one-free-one item or item yang akan dapat extra 15% contohnya shampoo. Kira macam alah membeli, menang memakai (worth it).
But...why on earth, there's one thing, I bet the only extra thing that I don't like kot. Kalau ada orang nak bagi, saya and perhaps the rest of my classmates, mesti akan beri berbagai-bagai alasan. Nak balik la, ada class lain la.. *even takde class pun sebenarnye*
Apakah itu? Perkara yang saya maksudkan itu ialah "extra class" to replace those classes that we missed before. Sangat tidak meminati class ganti, tahukah?Lagi-lagi di bulan puasa ni. Haih~
Tadi ada class ganti Ilmu Pendidikan. Actually class tu start from 11.15 a.m. to 1.15 p.m. Tapi sebab sangat banyak lecturer tak masuk class before, dia teruskan class sampai nearly pukul 3. Belajar Ilmu Pendidikan sampai 3 hours!! Dapat bayangkan tak tahap mengantuk saya? My brain also congested! Too many input in critical times. Bukankah waktu pukul 12 hingga pukul 3 adalah waktu kritikal ketika berpuasa?Hmm...Okaylah. Nak menghidang lauk untuk berbuka. Hari ni saya masak gulai lemak udang dan ikan goreng sahaja. Maklumlah hidup di rumah sewa, serba sederhana. Masak sahaja apa yang ada. Ok then. Selamat berbuka puasa semua.

September 05, 2009

Two Is Better Than One

Well...so maybe it's true that I couldn't live without you. Haha. Don't worry this entry won't be a sad-and-pathetic love story. No, not exactly. I just have something in my mind right now. Something that I think could change my life, or perhaps your life. *Duh!!Emotional...*
Hurmm..actually I'm now not in a gloomy mood anymore. Things are getting so much better! Now I realized that I couldn't live my life alone. I'm not going to be so damn selfish for not thinking about other's feeling. Well I should realize this earlier. Because deep down inside, I'm afraid of being alone. In the future, I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, in my huge mansion with my luxurious life and my empty heart. I need someone to accompany me throughout my hard and happy times. So...two is better than one. Could you understand what I mean?No? Well just syhhhh...:)
Let's move to the next story. Among all of my classes that I attend here, Kajian Tempatan and Athletics are my favourite. Ask me why? Because of the lecturers. They are funny and being in their classes really make me feel so happy. Both classes are filled with humors and rumors. Rumors???Haha. Well...I heard a rumor saying that.....hurm...Well..I don't have any, actually. But...there's a rumor saying that..I'm going to get married soon..Next year maybe? Well..two is better than one, isn't it?
By the way, I'm having a problem with my hair. I just couldn't stop the dandruff. Anyone, what shampoo should I used in order to get rid of this situation?I don't want to use the anti-dandruff shampoo because it will turn my hair into wire. So...any suggestion?

September 03, 2009

Killing Me Softly

First of all, sorry guys for being so quiet without any entry lately. I have no interesting story to be shared with all of you. I'm now having erm.......well having a very difficult time. Yes. It's all about feelings and such. I hate for being a girl with a very sensitive and fragile heart. I hate for being a girl that needs attention and afraid of being lonely. Tapi mengapa mesti ada yang tidak mengerti that I'm like this after being together for quite a long time?
Saya letih. Lebih baik diam diri dan menjaga hati saya sendiri. Bukankah itu lebih baik walaupun tidak happy? dah. Tidak mahu fikir lagi pasal semua ni. Serabut kepala saya.

"biarkan aku menjaga perasaan ini, ohh
menjaga segenap cinta yang telah kau beri
engkau pergi, aku takkan pergi
kau menjaga, aku takkan jauh
sebenarnya diriku masih mengharapkanmu
andai akhirnya
kau tak juga kembali
aku tetap sendiri
menjaga hati"

Tiba-tiba suka lagu ni. Semacam sesuai untuk ditujukan kepada seseorang itu. Seseorang yang dah buat saya jadi macam ni. Haih~ It's killing me softly. Till then.