Akmar loves Hafiz who loves Akmar

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

The greatest gift ever

Lilypie First Birthday tickers


June 29, 2010

Hand me-downs

I stood there in line, waiting for the cashier staff to help the customer before me to pay for their stuffs. It was a family with two daughters. I guess their dad was buying new clothes for the elder daughter as I could hear the mom said to the younger one "No..You can have your sister's pants. They're all still look new." I gave them a warm look then I smiled.

I could see myself when I looked at the younger daughter. Why? Because I'm one of the millions hand me-down kids in the world. From clothes to shoes to stationaries and other stuffs.

That blue bicycle that could....until it couldn't anymore. I'll never forget my first big bicycle. It was a hand-me-down that trickled down from my sister, my brother and then down to me.

That jeans that could...until it couldn't anymore. I'll never forget I wore it even though it was so loose and I had to wear a belt. It was a hand-me-down from my first sister to my second sister and then down to me.

That lousy flowery shirt. Even though it was quite big for me, but I wore it. I'm happy to wear it as it was pretty. That lousy t-shirt, that baju kurung........It was all the hand-me-down junks from my sister.

I could say that I'm happy when my sisters hand me down junks and stuffs that they don't need anymore. Just as I have been given a new lease of life time and again, hand-me-downs can be made new with a little ingenuity.
Some years down the roads since those times, my wardrobe still holds a couple of hand me-downs. But not as much as when I was little as I have my own money and I can buy almost everyhting by myself. Plus, now my sisters wear bigger size of attire as they are all had put on some weight.
Well..nowadays hand-me-downs get a new lease of life called 'second-hand' goods. People have wised up. Instead of simply giving things away, they sell them off to recover some cash off their possessions and use the cash to purchase new items. No longer do we have relatives who would willingly bring in bags of discards. 'Second-hand' is our way of life. Thrift shops have also replaced 'second-hand' shops although their goods come from the same source - people who have gotten sick of their belongings and decide to sell them off.

A lot of thrift shops have been set up in third world countries. These thrift shops sell items at half the price that shops in developed countries would set for the same items. What is the greatest irony? Do you ever wonder where these items come from?
Anyways, there's nothing to be shamed of being a hand-me-down kids. As long as I'm happy, I'm okay with that. Are you a hand-me-down kids too?
Hugs and kisses,

June 27, 2010

That's what I called.....

a journey. As I told you yesterday, I have a story to tell. It's about my journey by bus from Melaka to Seremban. A lot of things happened all the way to reach my destination. First, during my journey from Merlimau to Melaka Sentral. It's quite funny when the driver keep on combing his hair and trying to tackle the Miss Conductor. It was like a father wanted to tackle his own daughter. If his wife found out about what he did, his life will be in danger. Totally! Then, the chief conductor came to check our ticket. He kept on complaining to the driver that he had a chest pain that caused him in breathing difficulties. Then the driver asked him why and he answered it's because he quit smoking. The driver showed a weird face. I think I also did the same thing like the driver. People who quit smoking should have no such problem, isn't it? I gave him a smile when he turned at me.

As I arrived at Melaka Sentral, I went straight to the ticket counter. Thank God I reached the counter 5 minutes before 11.30 a.m. Therefore I managed to take the 11.30 a.m. bus to Seremban. But then, I don't have time to purchase the ticket. So the driver said I can wait at the bus and he'll buy me the ticket, which he forgotten. That was the first time I travel without a ticket. I'm lucky as the abang driver had a mercy on me.

Later after that, at the traffic light, I saw something. I really saw it as it was right in front of my eyes. And I started to cry. Here I go again. Feeling those same sensitive feelings again. It was my dad's cab. My ex-dad's-cab.

I remember the time when I was seven or eight years old, my dad bought MAH 4603. After long years of owning that cab, dad had to sell it. I dare to say that it's not fair to sell something that really had a sentimental value. But my dad had to.

I grew up in the middle-class family. Dad is a retired soldier and mom is not working. To support our family expenses, dad drove a cab. I could say that I grew up with that cab. From elementary school to primary and to college and until I got my degree. I'm pretty darn proud of the fact that with the help of that cab, I'm succeed. Not only me, the rest of my siblings too.

When I saw that cab yesterday, the moment of few months back when my dad had to let it go came and broke the calm. It was late after lunch where my dad took his files and documents and hurriedly rushing to the door. The moment after that, all I could see was a man, took that cab away. It happened just like that. My mom and I was speechless. We paused in a silent moment. Then my mom said " There goes the cab. " I could feel tears rolling down on my cheeks.

Letting go is hard to do and it takes effort. There are so many situations in life that require letting go. But letting go is not the end, it's the beginning. The beginning of a whole new life. A better life. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Hugs and kisses,

Too tired

I have so many things to share with you regarding my journey from Melaka to Seremban today..unfortunately I'm too tired to dance my magic fingers on the keyboard. I think I have to go to bed right now as I'm too sleepy. Just to inform you that overall, I feel so lucky today. Thank God. Syukur, Alhamdulillah. Okay, I'll write about this tomorrow. InsyaAllah.
Good night Lovelies.

June 25, 2010

Cerita Tentang Rambutan

Last three days, mak telah membeli sekilo rambutan dari Dak Eng, si penjual sayur. Bila mak dah selesai membuat proses jual beli, my neighbour, keluar untuk membeli rambutan juga. Unfortunately, dah habis. Sebab di rumah saya tak ramai orang, maka, mak dengan bermurah hati nak bahagi dua hasil belian tadi dengan makcik tersebut. Mak pun letak di dalam sebuah bakul lalu memanggil makcik tersebut. But makcik tu buat tak tahu je. Kami dengar anak dia cakap "Mak, Cik Nah panggil tu..kenapa mak tak jawab?". Makcik tersebut terus masuk ke dalam rumah dan menguncikan diri silently. Lalu mak cik tersebut membiarkan bakul yang berisi penuh dengan rambutan tersebut, tanpa disentuh sampai malam. My mom took it back and she asked me "Tak pe ke mak ambil balik? Tak buruk siku ke?" Then I answered "Orang dah tak nak...ambil je mak..daripada membazir..Lagipun kalau pakai baju lengan panjang, orang tak nampak siku kita buruk ke tak...hehe"

The next day, semasa menjemur baju, mak saya tanya makcik tersebut kenapa dia tak ambil rambutan yang mak saya bagi. Then dia cakap nevermind. Lagi pun kat rumah dia tiada siapa nak makan rambutan. Anak dia tak boleh makan rambutan sebab operation (I think operation tu dah bertahun kot). Then makcik tersebut terus masuk rumah, tak keluar-keluar. Aik? Salahkah soalan mak saya?

Semalam Dak Eng telah membawa rambutan. Guess what? Makcik tersebut telah membeli rambutan tersebut. Statement yang keluar dari makcik tersebut kepada si penjual sayur "Anak aku suka makan rambutan ni." Aik? bukan kah anak makcik tak boleh makan rambutan sebab operation? Pelik bin ajaib.

Makcik tersebut masih lagi tidak tegur mak saya. Masih terperuk dalam rumah dengan pintu tertutup rapat. Tapi kenal sangat dengan perangai makcik tu..Lambat laun dia akan okay dengan sendiri. Tapi begitukah cara hidup berjiran? Takkan lah pasal rambutan nak merajuk dan buat perangai macam tu. Hmm...malas nak komen lebih-lebih sebab dia seorang yang tua. I still have some respect to elderly. But dengan manner yang sebegitu, adalah sangat tidak sesuai. As neighbour, kita sama-samalah pandai jaga hati jiran kita. Lagipun dah berumur...tak elok buat perangai macam budak-budak.

Jiran anda bagaimana pula?

Hugs and kisses,

A Year Older. . .

I woke up this morning with a great, joyful feeling wrapped all around me. Syukur as I still could see my image in the mirror even though pimples keep on growing everyday. Arghh!!
Then I looked carefully at my hair hoping that there won't be any gray hair. Again, syukur as I could find none. Why I have to worry about this stuff? I'm only turned a year older. 24 isn't that old ma........right?
Well...let's sing a birthday song for me:

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to Cikmai,
Happy birthday to me.

I spent my day with my friend, Farini. I'm so happy as I had someone to accompany me on my birthday. We went jalan-jalan and...............................................I bought a present for me!! Yay!!! Some of you might think that I'm so pathetic as I bought a present for myself, so what?

Okay back to the topic. I bought myself a very nice, authentic, handmade Melaka kebaya nyonya. It cost me quite a lot of pennies but it's worth. What more important is I felt so blessed! The auntie who sells kebaya was so nice to me. And so do her mother. I told them that today's my birthday (well, actually hoping for discount) and they sang a birthday song to me. I was so happy (that's why I bought that kebaya even though it's quite expensive..=p) . And that auntie's mother gave each of us a packet of biscuits as my birthday treat. They were so kind! Next time around when I want to buy a kebaya nyonya, I should go to her shop. Erm...but have to wait for my paycheck first. Hehe. Wait aaa auntie..Ngee~

Now, I'm in my journey to fulfill my Wishlist.

Ya Allah, I'm grateful for what I have now. Alhamdulillah.

Special hugs and kisses from me,

June 23, 2010

Tik Tok

The clock is ticking.......
Tomorrow is the day.
May God bless me.
Good night Lovelies.

Hugs and Kisses,

June 22, 2010

2 More Days

Today is 22nd of June. I have approximately 48 hours before my birthday. I just can't wait for that.

Oh yes, I have 2 or maybe 3 things in my wishlist. or maybe 4? I'm not sure. And sort of like material thingy. Okay, here is my Wishlist:

1. Good health.
2. A fish for my pet. Already got a name for it.
3. A kebaya nyonya. Nak padankan dengan kain yang mak bagi tu.
4. A proposal. A ring. Spending precious time with him.
5. Eating time at Seoul Garden.
6. Happiness. Happiness. Happiness.

Okay. Siapa nak fulfill my Wishlist tu, sila angkat tangan. Ngeeeeeeee~

Hugs and Kisses,

June 21, 2010

A Place Called Home

I reached home last two days and still, I'm tired of traveling and unpacking. But somehow, I'm happy as I can lay on my own bed and watching FIFA. Yay!

. . . . . . . . .

I miss them. I miss those memories with Kak Piah, Ida and Rachel. Moments of struggling to win the battle, struggling to get rid from those bitchy women trying to pretend they were nice and struggling to be patience. I cried when we were hugging each other and when those "Goodbye" words were coming out from our mouth. Guys, I'm going to miss you. Hope you too.

And I miss Terengganu. I miss that sandy beaches. I miss my house. I miss everything.

Me, Ida, Kak Piah and Rachel..

Friends forever..

Hugs and Kisses,

June 14, 2010


Saya masih lagi sukar nak bernafas. Actually kena pergi hospital untuk X-ray paru-paru...tapi masa sangat pack sekarang ni. Kena tunggu balik Melaka. Sabar. Bertahan.

Kamu semua perasan tak lagi sepuluh hari before my brithday.?Rasanya sangat sesuailah bukan untuk saya expose wishlist saya.

What I want for my birthday is a good health. Yang paling penting dapat bernafas dengan baik. Sebab I'm planning nak pergi Penang. Yes. I want to go there. Have a wonderful birthday there before I will be posted this July. Mungkin ini ialah kali terakhir saya menyambut birthday saya di Semenanjung. Doakan saya cepat sembuh.

Erm..lain-lain ialah...saya nak seekor ikan. Wishlist ni masih tak termakbul since my last birthday. Tapi sebab nak posting dah maybe I'll get a fish once I get there. Lagi...erm...tu je kot. Oh ya. Saya nak happiness. Siapa boleh bagi saya hadiah berupa happiness? Sila angkat tangan.

Hugs and kisses,

I'm sorry...

About my condition....still no progress.
I'll update soon.
Just pray for me to get well soon.

June 11, 2010


First kidney. Now lung. Then what? Liver? Heart? Brain?

Setiap hari ku memohon
Agar kau sentiasa
Memberiku ketenangan dalam hati kekuatan
Menempuhi segala dugaan yang mencabar ini,
Pasti punya ertinya..

Kau beriku harapan,
Menjawab segala persoalan,
Hadapi semua dengan tenang,
Dengan merasa kesyukuran,
Ku doa Kau selalu,
Mengawasi gerak-geriku,
Berkatilah...ku perlu rahmat dari-Mu...

Oh Tuhan terangkan hati dalam sanubariku,
Untuk menempuhi segala hidup penuh cabaran ini
Oh Tuhan ku berserah segalanya kepadamu
Agar jiwaku tenang dengan bimbingan Mu selalu..

Adakala ku merasa hidup ini seperti kaca
Jikalau tidak bersabar, Hancur berderailah akhirnya
Tabahkanlah hatiku,
Melalui semua itu..Ooh..Kuatkanlah..
Cekalkanlah diriku.

Curahkanlah Nikmat Mu pada hidupku.........

Hugs and Kisses,

Welcome back

I went to see a doctor yesterday. He said my lung is swollen. I thought that I just had a normal asthma attack. But it was not.

Right after that, I walked away from the clinic. I stopped at a salon, went inside and I could see my other friends were doing their hair. I'm not going to cut down my pretty wavy hair. I'm dying to have long hair. But everyone was enjoying themselves when the hairdresser get their hair done. Then I asked the hairdresser to make me a fringe.

I'm happy. Now I've got my fringe back.

Do I look like I'm 24?

I'm still having difficulties in breathing. But still, I'm smiling. Pray for my health.

Hugs and Kisses,

June 06, 2010

My Weekend

Hello lovelies! How was your weekend? Mine was superb and marvelous!
My weekend started with my "singing practice" with my housemate. We spent 2 hours there.
I just love singing!

The next day, we went to the beach. Thought of playing kite but it was already late. I was captivated by the scenery but unfortunately, it has been polluted with those tractors and bulldozers. Just want to share with you some of the photos.

Thanks Mr. Self-timer=)

Yet, another product from Mr. Self-timer=)

Album: Memoirs-Part 1
Photographer: The author

Hurm...what do you think?

Hugs and kisses,

June 04, 2010

Life goes on.

Woke up this morning feeling like a dead fish. I glanced at my cell phone. Nah...no SMS or any missed call. I've been going through the same situation since the last three days. Come on..stop laughing at me. Life goes on, by the way. I touched my forehead and I could feel that my body's temperature was not at normal range. A fever, again. But not so severe. Maybe it's due to the toothache that I had or maybe because of that pain.

I struggled myself to get up as Subuh was about to finish. Then I prayed, with the hope that there will be a miracle for me.

Thought to go back to bed right after that but I can't. So I browsed through my cell phone. Those photos brought me back memories. Then I started to think. Think, think and think. Then I discovered something.

For all this while I always thought that making decision was on the top of my list. But now I'm wrong. Forgetting is the most difficult thing to do in life. It really really takes some times- maybe a week, a month or even years. It is not as easy as making decision.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My house is turning to hell right now. So many things happened within a week. I admit that I'm stressed. Therefore I'm going to karaoke today- yes, with my toothache. It's the best way to let out everything so that I won't be suffocated anymore. Hopefully.

No matter what happened, I have to move on. My life won't stop just because of these mischievous thingy. When I analyzed back, there is only one thing that can make me feel stronger again. And that one thing is smile. Keep on smiling as I know the sun will always there to shine for me. Well of course except for rainy days. =)

All you need is a smile.

p/s: I miss my parents so much.

Hugs and Kisses,

June 03, 2010


I'm now trying to create my Wishlist for my birthday. But I couldn't think of any specific things to be put in that list. I'll post it later....when it's complete.

I'm now struggling with Kursus Induksi after finished the Kursus Pedalaman. I'll finish everything by 19th of June. And maybe will be back on 20th. Maybe. I mean hope so.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Guys, how many of you agree that I should activate my Facebook account, ignoring that bitch? Raise your hand, please.

Hugs and kisses,

June 02, 2010


I'd finished my SPP interview. Syukur yang teramat syukur. I don't know how the result will be. I'd tried my best to speak even though my cheek swollen like a golf ball, again.Hopefully I'll pass it.

. . . . . . . . . .

I can feel that pain growing every each day. It's painful. Yet, I'm grateful that I still can talk, laugh, cry, eat, sleep, updating blog, so on and so forth. I still have the chance to hear the birds singing, to look at the beautiful blue sky, to have a chat with my parents and my beloved sis. Thank God, I'm still alive.

I'm grateful for what I've got. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Hugs and Kisses,

June 01, 2010


How would you feel when suddenly, from out of nowhere, a bitch send you a message saying:

"I think I'd fall for your guy. You know what, he gave me a positive feedback. Pity u"

I told her that I don't believe such nonsense. Because you know why? I trust my boyfriend. Then she sent me all the messages between she and my bf. Plus, their conversation on YM. I was speechless. It was miserable. I thought he will appreciate my trust, but no, he didn't.

Oh, yes. Sorry guys. I'd deactivated my FB account. Don't worry, when everything is settle, and that bitch stops messing my life, I'll activate my account back. That's a promise.

What hurt me more is when I ask him about her.

Me: B, Alia Najwa tu ur friend ke?

Him: Eyh, tak la. Die skola laen. Tp mmg my child hood friend.

Then I asked that girl and she said:

Me: Who are you? His child hood friend? How did you know him?

Bitch: Nope. Not his child hood friend. I knew him through FB via one of my friends. He looks just like my ex.

Shit. He lied. Okay. Still, I tried to calm myself. When I told him about that, he tried so hard to cover it up. My heart broke into pieces.

After what he did, I think I'm ready to let him go. Don't worry. I won't do something stupid. Promise.

For that girl, I know you are such a pretty girl. Some more, a F.A. You should be grateful for the gift. Cantik itu kurniaan Allah, bukanlah tuah. Hargai and don't misuse it. Beauty won't last forever,dear.

And for you, I tried so hard to please you and to make you happy. Even you hurt me a lot, I didn't blame you. This isn't the first time people keep on messing with our relationship. It isn't easy for you and me to maintain our relationship. Suddenly because of her, you seems like confused. It's okay. If she can make you smile, then go. I love you and I just want you to be happy. Just don't erase me in your memory. I will always love you.

Saya terfikir akan sesuatu. Mungkin ada hikmahnya saya kena ke pedalaman kerana Allah itu Maha Mengetahui. Kan?

As my fingers lingering on the keyboard, typing this entry, I cried.

Hugs and Kisses,