Mana satu yang betul ni???

Hari ni ada check up lagi kat Tey Maternity Specialist. Sepatutnya datang this coming Wednesday...tapi sebab dah balik KL dan malas nak menghadap muka boss yang bossy untuk minta cuti..so datang hari ni selepas 3 hari check up. Alhamdulillah...baby develop sikit. Sikit la...Rabu lepas saiz dia 0.55 cm...tadi 0.60cm..Lega bila baby develop walaupun sikit...baru selang 3 hari kan....

Okay..masa first pergi check up nak confirm pregnant ke tak...doktor tanya my last menstrual period bila. So kira doktor kira usia kehamilan ikut tarikh tu la...bila ikut tarikh tu meaning I'm about 9 weeks pregnant. Bila ikut saiz fetus, I'm 6 weeks pregnant. Doktor pula cakap baby terlalu kecil untuk 9 minggu. Ahhh..sudah...mana satu yang betul ni? Balik rumah cepat-cepat tengok calendar period cycle..kira balik.

Kira punya kira punya kira....

Well masa nikah tu bukan tengah 'on heat' katanya,,. So memang tahu dah kan...posisi macam mana pun faham-faham ajelah...lepas tu bila masa subur tu memang tak jumpa suami la pulak... Maklumlah..PJJ...So mesti jadi lepas period yg first after kahwin which is masa April. 

Kalau kira masa first day period tu (5 April) memang la sekarang ni dah 9 minggu..TAPI my period cycle is 35 days. Kadang-kadang terbabas sampai 38 days. So bilanya waktu subur???? Let's say kira period cycle 35 hari..so hari yang ke 21 tu la subur kan? Okay...doktor pulak kira usia kandungan masa first day of my last period. Sebab tak tahu masa bila projek menjadi kan? Tapi kalau fikir balik takkan la masa mula-mula period tu terus jadi baby...tipu la kan? What I did was Akma kira dari hari subur Akma. (Memandai je kan....haha) Hmmm....memang pun sekarang ni mengandung 6 minggu. Saiz baby pun 6 minggu...Tapi takpe..kita tunggu Ahad ni..last scan nak tengok usia sebenar dan berkembang tak anak ibu yang comel ni.

Haih! Confuse betullah. Ada sesiapa yang mengalami pengalaman macam ni????

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

Difficult time

Well....Akma sekarang ni sedang berdebar-debar..I guess this is the most difficult time kot.

Hurm....tak mahu cakap banyak. Just tunggu je esok. Another checkup at Tey Maternity Clinic.

Sekarang ni berfikir benda-benda yang gembira untuk jadi positif.

Ok then. Will update soon. See ya!



Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

The first lesson

Okay, let's just keep the honeymoon entry rest in the inbox for a while.When I feel like wanna blog in English it means I have something that keep on disturbing my emotions that I need to let it out and get it off from my chest.  Being married for 41 days had already gave me one lesson. One unbelievable lesson. 

"Always look at the good side of other people even if they didn't do the same thing to you. When the situation is getting tight, just leave it to HIM. Accept it as a trial to make you strong and even more stronger. Ignore those that can make you suffer but never ever turn your back on them. Remember, ALWAYS look at the good things in them. Pay no attention to their bad side, put it away. I believe that a mountain of prayers with the ray of hope, everything is going to be just fine. In shaa Allah"

Husband is my everything now. He knows his wife so well and more importantly, he knew the things that going on between us. Some people love to exaggerate things just for fun. Maybe they need more attention or maybe they should help themselves to get out from the sea of jealousy. Well I don't know. Allah knows best. 

The lesson was unbelievable.

Close my eyes, take a deep breath and exhale. I'll be fine. Things are going to be just fine. Time will heal everything. Good night everyone.

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

What to book first???

Aaaaaaaaaa...tak tahu nak pergi book yang mana satu dulu. MUA? OP? Catering? Pelamin??

Bismillahirahmanirrahim....Pejam mata rapat-rapat! Buka mata perlahan-lahan. Berharap bank notes tetiba jadi berkepuk-kepuk dalam wallet. Fuhhhhhhhhh!

Help me!

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

I'm a B2B????

Okay..seriously Akma macam tak percaya yang I am now a B2B! *lempang diri sendiri laju-laju. Umur dah lanjut kan..memamng dah wajib kahwin dah...Member-member lain dah beranak -pinak pun..huahuahua.. Now I think I got the feelings yang bloggers B2B lain rasa. Seriously memang excited yg amat. Silap-silap hari bulan takut terbuat aksi excited terlampau kat sini je. Memang banyak benda nak prepare but Akma dah opened a book..kinda like an organizer...da buat flow chart on what to do first...dah buat list on what to buy...what to book..and everything. Not to forget the budget. Jangan tak tau budget honeymoon pun dah siap put aside. Haha. Kalau ikutkan hati nak jangka masa bertunang tu biarlah lama kan...but En. Tunang tak nak lama-lama. Risau katanya. Hikhik. Jadi dengan masa yang singkat..and nak kena penuhkan impian my dream wedding...plus the workloads...I think I'll be dead. Huaaargghhhh!!!!

Ok..tarik nafas dalam-dalam....

Kursus kahwin punya borang dah isi..cumanya nak tunggu En. Tunang fax kan IC photostate..pastu boleh proceed borang n kursus on November. Considered settle la kan..Then baru la selesaikan urusan-urusan borang nikah bagai..HIV test, surat akauan bujang bagai and so on. Memang planned buat by December. Exactly 3 months before nikah kan. Benda-benda documentation tu rasanya tak jadi masalah kalau ikut je seperti yang dirancang. Yang penting kena rigid. Huuu.. *habislah kau En. Tunang....

Sekarang ni tengah struggle buat bunga telur sendiri. Mak kinda puas hati dengan hasil bunga telur yg dibuat. Mak request nak 200 kuntum. Oh mak aiii! Tergeliat tangan I nanti. Setelah berjaya di nego dengan mak...akhirnya mak setuju buat 100 pcs je. Tapi dengan syarat kena blendkan pale turquoise tu dengan white. Ok. No hal asakan 100 pieces. Dah berjanji dengan diri sendiri untuk buat at least 3 kuntum sehari. Kalau rajin lah kan...huiiii! Don't worry mak. Hasilnya akan merimbun. :)

The door gifts? Sis will sponsor insyaAllah. Akma cuma perlu settlekan doorgifts untuk closed friends je...Semuanya dalam 200 pcs. Ok. Idea semua dah ada...just nak tunggu masa nak cari barang-barang tu semua. Thanks to majalah Pengantiin sebab bagi banyak idea! I like! Next is kena cari idea untuk deco guest corner. Jangan tak tau guest book da beli ok. Betapa excited teruja yang melampau kan...haha! Owh..not to forget...the photographer. Da chop kawan Akma nama Ezy. Kalau dia tak mai...siap naaaa! haha.

So far foods for guests and brides and everything..abah will settle it for me. Dah tau dah nak book catering mana. Nanti abah cakap abah gi nego. At first ingatkan catering tu ada providekan pelamin sekali...tapi takde plak. Dia just provide canopy and set up meja pengantin. Alahai...pastu mak andam pun belum book lagi ni. So Akma really need help from other B2B or ex-B2B area Melaka ni...If ada contact mak andam yang memang make up dia bagus..I mean make up yang neutral tak macam tepung gomak tapi still gorgeous..please....share dengan Akma. memang nak kena book dengan pantas sebab for sure March memang melambak wedding. Takkan nak make up sendiri macam masa tunang hari tu? huuuuu...Tolong saya kawan-kawan!!!!

Oh ya...dan baju sanding will be this colour.

Thanks Mr. Google for this photo.

Suka tak? Suka tak? suka tak???Auwwwwww~ suka sangat kaler ni!!!!!! Memandangkan En. Tunang pun kulit putih kan..mixed mat sallehkan....sesuai la kot kaler  ni. Cuma Cik Tunang je adalah gelap sedikit. Tapi tak kira...nak jugak!Lantak.  hihi.

So guys...need contact untuk mak andam and pelamin area Melaka...pleaseeee..nak kena buat survey and nak kena buat short list sepantas yang mungkin. huuuu..sayang korang sesangat!!!

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

Never stop blogging.

Once I thought to stop this blogging things. But then I realized that it won't work. I feel like I'm missing something that I don't know what it is.

Hmm...lame..lame..so lame.. Years of blogging, I only posted 662 entries. What happened to me? Where is my spirit of blogging? Did I lost it when I lost the love of my life? Somebody tell me...

Well..just never stop blogging.

And hey, never stop believing in yourself, Akma. Believe that there will always be sunshine after the rain heavy rain.

Soon you'll see the light. It's just around the corner. 

Smile always!

Hugs and kisses.

Hold dulu..

Hai semua. Salam Ramadhan. I just came back from 2nd day terawih. Alhamdulillah. What I love most about Ramadhan is the ibadah. Time ni la orang berlumba-lumba tambahkan saham akhirat. Tak ketinggalan juga I yang masih banyak kekurangan ni. Bukan selalu dapat solat sunat terawih ni. Time-time macam ni lah nak kejar. Bukan ke begitu kawan-kawan?

Oh ya ! I guess macam dah confirmed, insyaAllah..sukaaaaaa.. wee~ But sayang cakap next year is a long way to go. So everything from tempah baju, bakal suruh hold dulu. We need the exact date. Like I said, wait after raya okay... Dup dap dup dap...

Hari ni bakal ajak berbuka di rumah beliau..I refused. Well, I sangat segan okay nak berbuka di rumah beliau sebab mesti akan makan bersama all his family members. I mean ALL. Bila ALL haruslah ada abah beliau. Okay sangat malu. Memang before ni selalu makan kat rumah beliau but without his dad. Ada his mama je dan adik-adik. Oh ya, sayang saya punya mama adalah sangat cantik. *iklan* Huuuu...Tak dapat bayangkan kalau abah beliau ada sekali. Ingat lagi masa beliau konvo and after konvo, gi minum and I didn't say a word...segan punya pasal.....Nak cakap terima kasih uncle sebab hantar kat airport pun segan semacam. Cakap pun terketar-ketar. Adeyh~

So sekarang ni terfikir...macam mana nanti bila nak tut tut? Macam mana nak hilangkan rasa segan ni? Belum lagi dengan saudara-mara beliau. Saudara di Muar and nenek beliau di Muar I dah jumpa and like dah 2-3 times la..Tu pun time raya je...Yang lain? I seriously segan and malu sangat-sangat. Yelah, I ni banyak lagi kekurangan diri. Tu yang buat segan tu...Lagi pun mak selalu pesan, kita ni orang Melayu kena la jaga adab dan sopan santun. Dan I berpegang pada yang itu. 

Macam mana nak hilangkan rasa segan ni?

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai.

Emosi agak tak stabil, mungkin?

Assalamualaikum semua. Malam ni I'm alone. Housemate balik kampung. My mom cakap tak payah balik, she's getting better. Mak cakap "Akak kan nak pakai duit..". Okay, terharu di situ. So I stay kat rumah and what else? Googling! I bet most of you are watching football match now. Kan?Tapi sorrylah. langsung takda mood nak tengok. Kalau tengok pun, kena kutuk je nanti. Kan dah cakap. Mood I tak berapa okay ni. Hari ni berselisih faham dengan encik bakal dan upacara rajuk-merajuk telah berlaku sepanjang hari. I memang pantang kalau upacara ni berlaku. Habis semua orang kena bambu dengan I. Baik yang dalm t.v., kat luar t.v., atas t.v., bawah t.v..Dan siapa-siapa terkena tempias, sorry der..I memang tengah emo. Saya telah digesa untuk menyeranai pendek list. Haih! Susah kot. Seminggu fikir. Gila la kau. Tak boleh buat secara slow-slow ke? Dah la busy tahap lapan-belas-tangan-pun-tak-cukup. Dan Encik budget, anda telah potong stim tahu? Kacau la kau ni budget. Benci I ! Baru nak fikir pasal raya dan baju pengapit. Damn.

Kahwin hantaran tak mau banyak. Benda-benda tu boleh beli lepas kahwin. Kan? Tunang pun tak payah nak kalut. Ey, tak nak fikir, boleh tak? Tapi kena jugak!!! 

Okay. Seperti yang I telah cakap mungkin perfume tidak akan ada dalam list. I mean maybe la. Perfume like something common. Nak ganti dengan bath set. Jadi nekad bulan ni nak pergi OU. Nak pergi OU...nak pergi OU...Nak pergi OU...Nak pergi OU. *bercakap ikut nada nak cari kayu dalam cite Labu-Labi* Nak grab 2nd item dalam list tu.

Kasut? Tak nak sepasang dengan handbag, aci kan? Yang tu dah ada dalam kepala. I nak amalkan tiga konsep mudah. Masuk kedai, beli dan blah. Full stop.

Minggu depan nak ajak beliau ke Sogo. Beliau mungkin nak perfume. 

So list pendek saya yang dah ada dalam kepala otak yang serabut ni:

• Al-quran and telekung.
• Bath set wangi-wangi 
• Kasut
• Handbag and wallet (ni beli lepas dapat bonus. Bukan Jalan Bonus ye Kak Ina. Harap-harap dapat le )
• Yang lain barang yang boleh di makan. Sebab barang-barang ni cantik. Haha!

Oh ya. Pernah dengar tak telekung Siti Khadijah? I nak yang Siti Khadijah tu. Serious sangat cantik dan kain high quality. Dah jatuh cinta dengan Siti Khadijah. Ada sesiapa nak pergi Kelantan tak? I and family I tak plan nak balik Kelantan dalam masa terdekat ni. Anyone tahu kat KL ni mana ada jual telekung Siti Khadijah tak?

Doorgift kakak cakap nak sponsor.Tapi nak demand, boleh tak? Kak Long telah berkenan bekas telur pewter yang cantik itu. Satu rm20+. Katanya doorgift untuk rombongan.Uhuk-uhuk. Tersedak aku. 

Susahnya nak puaskan hati semua orang. Boboi semput!!

Akma, kau ni dah ready ke belum sebenarnya? Dang! Slap diri sendiri laju-laju. Emo semakin meruncing. Haih makin kerap plak selisih faham dan rajuk-merajuk. Ni yang buat I malas nak fikir tau. Benci.

Sakit kepala yang amat. Nak makan pain killer and nak tergolek. Jangan harap Encik Bakal nak call. Kenapa makin kerap berselisih faham ni? 

Malam ni tak de hug-hug and kiss-kiss. I emo ni. Tolong.

By,

Cikmai.

No, I'm not a drug addict.

Salam to all my Muslim readers and Hello to the others. I'm so sorry for the pause. I'm not feeling well. 3 times went to the clinic and last Tuesday I went to HKL, as been informed in my last post. I had bruises on both of my arms because of the blood tests. Plus, that 2 injections make my butt cramped!! And the pills that I should take everyday. It's killing me. Please doctor..could you please confirm why I'm not feeling well?

I didn't tell my parents about this. I don't want them to get worried about me. So, I won't go back home this week even though I miss my family so much. I don't want to freak them out, especially my mom, if she see those bruises.

Despite of my illness, I need to work hard at school as my workloads are overloading. I didn't use my MC and I go to school like always. No wonder I was scolded by the doctor. Orang dah bagi rehat, takmo rehat kan...kaedahnye~ There are lots of things to be settled at school. Plus, I'm the class teacher. So I need to settle my pupils' files. Need to decorate the classroom. And today, guess what? I went back home at 5 p.m. 10 hours at school isn't cool at all. Who said "cikgu-dapat-gaji-buta?". Try be a teacher, then you know.

Owh, you guys wanna see this photo? But sorry, it's not clear cause it was taken using my lousy phone camera.

Hasil balik hospital..

Erkkkk.....

Doctor cakap antibodi aku sangat sangat lemah. Lagi-lagi lepas kena chicken-pox hari tu, aku sokmo sangat demam. And losing weight drastically is something that is so not cool. Haih~Tengokla ubat yang terpaksa ku telan. Kena sentiasa makan untuk elakkan ku diserang demam secara bertubi-tubi. Tu belum tambah lagi 2 biji yang ku dapat from HKL. Ubat kaler pink and oren. Dah macam drugs addict dah....Tet!! Siapa-siapa rasa nak ubat, meh la...I have abundance of stocks. Huahuahua. Oppsiie...just joking.

I'm begging to all of you. Please pray for my health. I need my energy back. My kids need their teacher to be energetic to perform the chicken dance. Thank you Sunshines for your prayers.

Nota kaki: Thanks Sara sebab datang bawa ice-cream tadi. You are so sweet. =)

Hugs and kisses,

Why???

Kenapa? Kenapa?Kenapa tak boleh? Saya tak suka la plain white je. Nak jugak ade colour-colour. Tapi tak boleh???Dulu boleh je..Apsal ntah..Kenapa? Mak geram...marah....dah lompat-lompat dah ni..Sambil memegang kaki kerusi...Bila-bila masa je ni mak boleh jadi Hulk. Urghh!!

Will anyone with the pure kind-hearted help me solve this problem? I'm talking about fonts in each of my entry. I don't know why. Dah tukar warna tapi tak berhasil. Mengapakah??

Ahhh...benci...benci...mak benci!!!

Help?

Hugs and kisses,

Sentap!!

I browsed through one of my friend’s photos in Facebook. Only one word that came out from my mouth.. Astaghfirullah. Sentap mak! Of course la sentap you olz!! Gambar cium mulut bagai, dengan aksi smoking bersama kekasih...Tak kisah la kan kau nak buat apa pun, tapi I don’t think it’s good to make it public. Like the whole world could see them. Kalau orang macam mak yang tengok, tak pe lagi..what if your parents? Tak ke hancur luluh hati orang tua tu tengok anak yang patut mendoakan mereka jauh terpesong dan hanyut dengan godaan syaitan? Wah..ustazah you olz!! I’m not saying that I’m a good perfect Muslim. But at least, I’m trying to become one of those. Usaha tangga kejayaan..tak gitu?

Sekarang ni ramai antara kita yang beragama Islam hanyalah Islam pada nama. I admit that, in this modern world, adalah sukar untuk kita mengamalkan cara hidup seorang Islam yang soleh or solehah. I admit that it’s not easy. Challenges and obstacles are everywhere! Mak pun kadang-kadang tewas but thank god I’m still on the right path. Alhamdulillah.

Sambung balik pasal kes sentap ni. Memanglah hak anda untuk meletak gambar-gambar sekalian sebab it is your account, but dah hilang ke malu pada diri anda? A Malay, A Muslim..Astaghfirullah...astaghfirullah.. Tapi anda seperti mahu show off dan you are very proud of it. Simpan sorang-sorang sudah..Hai...mak memang tengah sentap ni nolks. Thank god I had this little room of mine to let out my displeasure. Pardon me for that.

Do we need to be proud of the sins that we had committed? I think repent could be best replaced that “proud” word. Hello, we don’t know when our last day to live is and everyone of us will be called to deal with death as part of our lives. Tak takut mati ke you olz?? Astaghfirullah. .Lantaklah..korang dah besar panjang pun..I only can pray for you, hoping that one day you will be showered with hidayah and will be a better person. Pesanan ringkas dari penaja : Sama-samalah kita berdoa untuk diri kita sendiri dan orang lain. Allah kan maha pemurah...

Entry ini bukanlah untuk mengumpat ataupun bergossip sakan you olz! Niat hanya sekadar mahu berkongsi.

Nota kaki: Takutnya nak mendidik anak in future nanti. Ya Allah, kuatkan iman ku. Amin.

Hugs and kisses,

2 bucks won't be a richer.

I am now counting every pennies left inside my gorgeous red wallet. 2 bucks left. Urghh....3 months without a single pay check had really made me suffered. I need new attires. I need a new handbag. I need a facial treatment. I need spa. I need new shoes. It looks like the devil is going to wear that old Crocs like forever???? I hope that November will bring a miracle for me..Let's pray for that miracle together.

Hugs and kisses,

It's the risk that I take...

I told myself to stop doing things that eventually might make me cry. Indeed, I did it again. No matter how many times it will break my heart into pieces, no matter how hard my heart refused to stop crying, I will do anything just to please someone that I really care.

I sat down and took a deep breath, trying to help myself to calm down. Think, think and keep on thinking. Do you think that my life would end when you broke my heart into pieces? Do you think that I couldn't make it through? No dear..of course not. I'll make it through. I just need some times..that's all..Besides, this isn't the first time...huh?

So it's your birthday yesterday. But not exactly a happy day for me. I can't believed for all this while I poured my heart out to you, I try my best to give you the best on your birthday but this is what I get back. I'm not trying to bring back the past..but there are certain things from the past that's hard for me to let go. I don't know why. It's indescribable.

I talked to my beloved Dilla just now. Hey, I really need someone to talk to. Who else if not her?Thanks for the courage you gave me..and of course, some good advices. I realized that sometimes I've neglected few of your advices..but believe me, you make me feel alive. Thank you friend.

So many times...Don't know what's wrong with me..My tired mind speaks and keep on telling me that it's the risk that I take by loving someone too much. I just need someone that could cheer me up.

Hugs and kisses,

Shopping tudung?

Seriously tengah meroyan nak pergi shopping tudung kat Jalan TAR. Tapi paycheck akan dapat lagi 3 bulan. Huh~

Think..think..and think..

Yezza! Tengok tu. Dah cukup buat shopping tudung kat Jalan TAR. Dah dapat 2 selendang dah tu. Hihi...

Selamat berbuka puasa semua. Apa juadah anda hari ini?


Hugs and kisses,

Runaway

Yes. I am smiling so hard and my eyes are squinting. Because I'll be going, because I'll be going, yes, I'll be going! I am on my tippy toes now.

I'll be going to a place where sky is a blue that can be described as heavenly blue. I'll be going to a place where the grass is a green than can be described as heavenly green. Maybe I'll be going to heaven?

Of course not. Sorry for being delusional for a moment. Actually, I really need a very calm and peaceful place that can took my heart and my breath away. A place that can wipe away my tears that came out from my gloomy eyes, almost every night when I forced myself to sleep. I want to escape myself from this world. Tell me where is the place that can make me feel like I could reach the sky and God will listen to me. A place where I can stand on my own feet, like I'm gutsy and ready to do something brave. On a hot air balloon, maybe?

My heart is going to a place where everything seems to be so calm. My runaway heart.

I need to stop babbling now. I'm working tomorrow. Good night all.

Hugs and kisses,

I need strength

Welcome back to Ramadan. I hope it's not too late for me to wish all of you Ramadan Al-Mubarak. Let's forgive and forget for the wrong doings. Puasa tak hari ni???Hehe..

Anyways, Ramadan kali ini amat bermakna buat saya. I'll be celebrating Ramadan alone. Hmm..it looks like things have not been easy for me. I still haven't got a house to rent. So many things to buy..maklumlah baru nak hidup. Thanks to my parents and my sister for their support.

My life now starts to change. I thought that I was okay with change. Apparently, I was only okay with some changes. My heart is extremely heavy and refuse to stop crying. I know that this is not the first time I'll be fasting alone..but this time I feel a way different. I don't understand why heart cries out. Why? Why? Maybe because I'll be standing on my own feet. Totally.

Life is hard for me now. Extremely hard. Please God, give me strength.

P/S: Sesiapa yang ada rumah sewa dekat-dekat area SK Sungai Pusu, please roger saya.


Hugs and Kisses,

(-_-)

Holla!! Just checking my so-called-me. Anyway, I still have one more pending entry. Will blog about it soon. I promised. I'm just so tired. Really need a rest.

Ohh....I really need a massage right now.

Hugs and kisses,

I want a guy......

• who can wrestle with me and let me win...
• who I can talk to about anything...
• who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets...
• who let me use his sweatshirt for a pillow...
• who says I LOVE YOU and means it...
• who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow...
• who calls me unexpectedly...
• who realizes that I say things but don't always mean them...
• who I can go swimming with on hot days...
• who can tell me his problems and let me help...
• who will kiss me and tell I'm beautiful...
• who will always be by my side when I need him...
  
• who simply be mine to hold...

Hugs and Kisses,

I'm sorry...

About my condition....still no progress.
I'll update soon.
Just pray for me to get well soon.

.
.
.
.
.
. . . I need MOTIVATION right now. . .
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Oh, thought of coming back after finished my exam. Nak jumpa mereka yang saya sayang sebelum pergi posting. But seems like I'm on tight budget.. ada sesiapa tak yang nak sponsor saya?

Hugs and kisses,