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September 23, 2008

Double Trouble

Saya rasa hidup saya semakin tertekan..
Exam paper yang melambak to be marked..
And i'm now single again..
Tekanan tak?
Hilang orang yang paling saya sayang di saat saya sangat2 serabut..
What i can say is that...I hate guys..pull stop

September 20, 2008



Saya kini berada di Shah alam. After class, terus rushing datang Shah Alam. Tadi berbuka puasa dengan si dia..Hmmm...Kejap lagi nak bersahur sama..harap2 bangun..
Oklah..mata dah tingtong. Till then~

September 19, 2008


Hari demi hari macam semakin tertekan..
Mengajar MUET semacam tak percaya.
Adakah ini mimpi??
Doakan saya dapat kerja lain kerana sangat tertekan.
Till Then~

September 18, 2008

Believe it or not?

Alhamdulillah,now i finally got a job. Even though I'm not that 'ready', but i still accept this job with open heart. You guys might be suprised that i'm now a teacher. A temporary teacher. I'm teaching English from form 4 to form 6 at SMK Dato' Abdul Rahman Yaakub.
I just finished my work. And today was my first day of work. Teaching isn't easy as i thought it were.
I still don't have my own timetable so today i was just sitting and reading some Grammar book. I have nothing to do as i only had one class only for today on 10.20 a.m. at 5MPV.
As i walked into the class, i was shocked!! There were only like 9 to 11 students in that class. Only half of the class present and the other half were absent. Most of the students are so naughty..And one of them said "Cikgu, class ni budak-budak dia semua mental". Dush!!!Seem like my nightmare came true!!But somehow, they are funny too. I was like laughing all the time..And they said "Teacher, i thought you were 19"..Am i that young?
Now i have to make revision everyday and i have to read all those literature components again!! Feel like i'm going back to school.
Nothing much to write..hmm..oh yes!Maybe I will go to Shah Alam this weekend if my parents allow me to drive and if they give me extra pocket money..Huu~Hurmmm..got lots of work to do now. Till then~
p/s:I'm dying to see you b!!!

September 15, 2008

My Endless Love


First of all, i would like to say that this entry might be so touchy and people would think that i'm so jiwang.But never mind cause sometimes i do..haha..So what??I am just writing to let the feelings flow to the one I love. Well, here is to a man I thought I'd never know. The one who stole my heart so innocently, but with care and grace. The perfect thought is us together forever, the sweetest word is your name, and the greatest thing is your love.

I am so amazed at our relationship. I'm so glad that we're together now and you make me feel like I'm the most important person on earth. B, I wake up every morning with the thought of you in my head, wondering if I had dreamed you up the night before. Actually I was scared to love you at first, in fear that you would hurt me, but I dove right in and it's the best choice I have ever made. And it seems like I have spent my entire life trying to find someone like you.

Dear, there are so many reasons why i love you. You have been the motivation behind every breath I take.The little things you do, the simple gesture you make and the feelings and thoughts you share with me. I adore the way you look at me, your move and your smile. You understand me more than anyone else. You make me feel like I have never felt before. I can always be myself when I'm with you. I can tell you anything and you won't be shocked or judge me. Your undying faith is what keeps the flame of our love going. You and me together, we are a perfect match. And there are just so many reasons that i just can't tell.

Love has taught me and has changed me since we've met. I knew you were the only man I have ever really loved and the only man I ever wanted to be with for the rest of my life. No matter how much I have screwed up, you were determined to keep our love alive. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Please forgive me for all the hurt that I have put you through. And I'm sorry I've been so moody lately. I know I mention my past too much and I know I bring up like so many stupid things....but I do love you with all my heart.. and I'm just afraid of losing you. I know I can make you mad, but you still love me with everything you have. And it has been over two years now and somehow we have made it.You are the reason I live, breathe, love, and laugh. You mean everything to me.

Dear b, I love you more and more with each passing day. And it pleases me to know that as tomorrow approaches, that I will love you more than yesterday and tomorrow will be more than today. My love for you cannot be measured by words alone and the word love does not fully express my truest feelings for you. I wanted to tell you that no matter what happen, I still love you with my whole heart, and I know that these misunderstandings don't mean anything more than just arguing. However, from this day on, I'm going to try harder to be a better person, and not be so adamant about everything, because I realized that you are the most important person in my life and that if I continue like this, I may just lose the love we share. have so much to thank you for, but so much more to give you, so many moments of my life to spend by your side. You are my love. B, I love you, more than I could ever express with words alone.

Till then~

September 13, 2008

Good Luck Charm


Hey everyone..I have an important interview this coming October..I really want this job. If i get this job, i will definitely get my own honda jazz ..my dream car since like forever!! So guys, I need a good luck charm now. You guys will pray for me, won't you?
Love you guys..

September 08, 2008

Tentang Bulan Puasa


Hari ini saya terasa seakan mahu mengupdate. Maka on my way back from Seremban to Melaka, saya berhenti seketika di cc ni untuk mengupdate. Lagipun saya tau, bila saya sampai ke rumah, i don't have time to update my blog as i have so much stuffs to be settled, lagi-lagi dah nak raya ni. And tadi semasa drive, hati saya teringat akan moment bersama yang tersayang dan teman-teman saya sewakatu di bulan puasa.

Tentang him......
B, i miss u so damn much. Especially the moment when be break the fast together. The moment when u bought me my favourite kueh, lengkong sirap, the moment when we went to the bazaar together,the moment when we went shopping together...And everything. I'm looking forward to spend some time and break the fast together with you this Ramadan. And i'm so glad sebab this raya colour tema baju raya kita sama lagi..yay!!!Miss u and love u so much.

Tentang Ben.....
Ben, my room mate since i was in Part 3. When it comes to Ramadan, aku akan teringat kat kau. Teringat time kita sahur together. Makan ayam goreng dengan sos life. Ambil air kotak banyak2 kat dining and at the end tak minum pun. Time kite berbuka together. Time berbuka kat your house sambil menikmati sambil darat yang sangat menyelerakan. And pasang lagu raya everyday, 24-7.. And everything. I miss all those things.

Tentang Dilla, Wawa, Ana, Ila, and Jo.....
Babe, i miss you all. And sorry to all of you for being such naughty and kenekan korang especially Ana. Babe, rindu sanagt nak ke bazaar with all of you after class. Rindu nak ponteng class beramai-ramai and pergi shopping dengan korang. Rindu nak berbuka dengan korang. Babe, korang ingat tak lagi kita pergi shopping kat OU together? Best kan?I miss you guys..so much!!!

Oklah..I think that's enough for now. I have to go home and start cooking untuk berbuka puasa ni. By the way, I'm currently addicted to Rachael Ray's cooking show. Can't wait for the next episode. Don't worry Martha, i'm still watching your show. You both are the best ever!!
Till then~

September 07, 2008


I'm back again at my blog after about a week.There are few reasons why i didn't post any entry recently..One of the reason is that, as usual, nothing interesting about things that happened in my life lately.I'm sure your life is better than mine now.I just hate to be in the state of being alone.
Solitude. Loneliness.
I really hate those words. I wish i could remove all the traces of those words from my dictionary. But i couldn't do that. It just happened almost everyday. A moment i was happy and then it just gone. Just like magic. Then those two words appeared again. Breaking the continuity of my happiness. Why i couldn't be like others? Having fun with their friends. Sharing laugh and tears with their love one. Being blessed by god. Why my life now is so in a mess?Mom is true. Maybe it is just the circle of life. Luckily i have my mom. She's been my very best friend lately. We went to the market together. Sleep together. Sharing story about my boyfriend together.
Hmmm...Zaffan,how i wish you were here with me now. Just like before. I really miss those moments. But don't worry, i understand you honey.I understand that you are now having a great deal to do since you are in the final year of your study. I won't let myself disturbing his study. But being understanding sometimes making me feel lonely. It's not that i want him to be all by myside 24-7. Just that i want him to be my shoulder to cry. To be someone that i could share something bad and interesting. To be someone that i can share my feeling with. To be someone that could spend some of his precious time with me apart from being super busy all day.I'm sorry dear for being so childish sometimes. I just love to be pampered by you, my dear. I feel so lonely. I need a hug from a human teddy right now. And i hope that it could be him.
My dear wishmaster..i wish that loneliness will go away so far from my life.
Till then~

September 01, 2008

It's September

Today is 1st September.
I love September.
You know why?Yes..yes it is..
For those who doesn't know, let it be.
13 days to go.
I need to plan something.
No suprise lunch since now is a fasting month.
I need Plan B.
Or maybe Plan C.
I just need a plan.
Anyway, this song is for you my dear Zaffan.
"True by Ryan Cabrera"
I wont talk
I wont breathe
I wont move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I dont look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
It's true
Cuz i'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
You dont know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
It's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way that's true
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

Pelik Tapi Benar


Yesterday i was so tired so saya tak sempat nak post any entry. Tengah hari semalam saya keluar dengan adik and my nieces, Fatihah and Alia. We went for lunch and movie. Saya dah janji dengan dieorang kalau saya ada licence, saya akan bawa dieorang tengok movie. Jadi terpaksalah bawa dieorang memandangkan saya pun dah agak terlewat menunaikan janji tersebut. Lagipun, semalam dieorang tak nak ikut their parents pergi jalan, so i took them out.We watched Wall-E. Wall-E is a robot works to clean up all the trashes on earth.One thing about Wall-E that i like most is that he is so sweet. I know that robot do not have feelings like human being. But somehow i just like all the things that Wall-E did to tackle a female robot, Eve..Erk..robot pun ada jantina ke?Anyway, i wish that my boyfriend will also do the same thing like Wall-E did. And perhaps someday, i hope that someone will invent a robot with feelings..boleh ke????
Anyway, this morning i woke up at 4.30 a.m. for sahur..Alhamdulillah..sempat bersahur..While waiting for Subuh, i watched a movie on Kirana channel..A Tagalog's horror movie titled "White Lady". The movie was quite o.k. and i do love watching all those cerita hantu!!do you believe in ghost and such supernatural stuffs?For me, i do. Not that too much but still i believe that they do really exist. Mereka pun makhluk ciptaan Allah jugak,kan? Besides, saya pernah mengalami peristiwa-peristiwa pelik dalam hidup saya.. Saya masih ingat lagi first incident yang pelik berlaku time saya 13 years old..Masa tu baru masuk asrama so taklah takut sangat nak ke tandas sorang2 tengah malam buta. Maka, dengan beraninya, saya ke tandas. After i peed, i wanted to wash my hands.. tapi yang anehnya, bila saya buka paip air yang saya nak guna tu, paip yang lain keluar air. I was so nice at that moment, saya pun pergilah tutup air tersebut. Bila saya tutup, paip yang lain pula keluar air.. then saya pun pergi tutup, and again, keluar air di paip yang lain. Agak lama lah saya bermain-main di sinki-sinki tersebut walaupun dah mula rasa seram. Then bila mambang tu dah start bukak air shower, saya pun dengan pantas balik ke dorm. Time tu dahla duduk dorm..Dorm kan macam quite eerie. And after that, banyaklah jugak benda-benda pelik happened kat SAMURA, kat matrik and even kat university..Susah saya nak terangkan macam mana tapi when those things happen to you, you will know.Dan rasanya bukan saya seorang saja yang pernah mengalaminya, kan?
But now it's Ramadhan..Ramadhan kan bulan yang mulia. Dan di bulan Ramadhan kan jin,hantu dan syaitan kena ikat..Yang ada cuma jin dan syaitan dalam diri sesetengah individu untuk menggoyahkan iman mereka yang sudah semestinya goyah..Kalau tak, takkan lah masih ada orang yang tak berpuasa di bulan yang mulia ni. Tapi golongan yang sebegitu sangat sukar untuk di selamatkan sebab hati dieorang dah tak bersih lagi..that's why lah jin and syaitan suka duduk dalam diri dieorang. Tapikan, pernah tak kamu semua dengar cerita yang pada bulan Ramadhan, roh-roh orang yang telah meninggal akan pulang ke rumah untuk melihat keluarga mereka? Dan sebab tu lah kita di galakkan untuk mengaji untuk di sedekahkan untuk si mati. I still don't know about it..i'm still confused. Betul ke?Tapi kalau nak ikutkan, pernah sekali terjadi di rumah saya..waa..saya sangat bayak cerita pelik kan?But i just want to share with you what happened on Ramadhan when i was 12, if i'm not mistaken. Time tu my uncle yang saya paling rapat sudah pun meninggal dunia pada Ramadhan tahun sebelum tu..he died on friday, and it's Nuzul Quran day.My uncle was a very nice and kind person. And i guess maybe that's why God took him early,on the holiest day for muslim..and one day, saya balik dari sekolah dengan cuaca yang sangat panas. Kamu pun tahu kan time bulan puasa panasnya macam mana..Sampai je kat rumah, saya rasa agak dingin dan berbau yang sangat harum. Pada mulanya saya tanya kat mak saya, tapi she didn't feel or smell anything..and then, after a moment, mak panggil saya dan cakap, dia pun dah terasa apa yang saya rasa.Lepas tu mak cakap, mungkin arwah pak itam datang kat rumah kita sebab nak jenguk anak-anak dia since my mom jaga all his children. Dan saya masih tertanya-tanya sampai sekarang betul ke that kind of thing really happen?Bolehke orang yang dah mati tapi rohnya akan pulang ke rumah pada bulan Ramadhan?Everybody have their own believe and thought. So could someone tell me about it, please!
Till then~