The real situation.

I still remember that day when I had to sit for the interview to be the English teacher. One of the interview slot was 2 hours essay writing. 1 hour for compulsory topic and another one hour for the free writing which there were few topics you can choose. I am not going discuss on the topic of free writing essay. It's the easiest one, of course. 

My compulsory essay was I had to write about "CORRUPTION". 7 years back, I had no clue what was the topic all about. But I was being me, being so naive..I didn't see that the topic was the major issue in my country. I thought that I live in a peaceful and harmony country which everyone was so sincere and honest.

Now, 7 years after...I can see clearly and understand what  CORRUPTION is all about. If I had to write about it, I think I can write longer...more than three pages within one hour I guess.

But I am just like any other ordinary citizens..too much critics and sharing thoughts or I could be skating on the thin ice. What else I can do? What else can WE do? The power is not in our hand.

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

A note to Hannah.

Dear Hannah,

There is no love so lasting, so strong, so devoted, so unselfish than my love for you. It is the first and purest of all love. It begins with your birth and ends with my death. Soon you are going to be a girl..but don't worry sayang. The memory and love that we treasure together will sweeten many a cup of sorrow and will lighten many hours of darkness. You may lose everything in this world, and my love will alone stick by you. You may go down but the memory of me and my undying love may come like a golden cloud, and with all its early strength and warmth, will make you stand up again and fight. 

And if you read this post in the future, please remember that the love between a mother and her daughter is forever. 

Ibu loves you so much my love.

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

Update

Ok. Memang diakui malas nak update blog. Kerja menimbun katanya. Alasan biasa kan...bilalah nak jadi rajin macam abang Ben...haihhhhhh....

Pejam celik kejap je dah nak masuk bulan keempat pregnancy. Alhamdulillah... dan ye..Akma masih macam mambang mabuk minum Brandy (Ayat Sudin dlm Pendekar Bujang Lapok). Entah bila hormon ni nak stabil... Punya mabuk sampai sekarang update blog pun tengah baring. Seriously bila dah keadaan macam ni memang sangat perlukan suami disisi. At least ada juga orang nak tolong ambilkan air tengah malam bila dahaga..ada orang nak tolong picitkan kepala yang 24 jam pusing ni... Ya Allah..kuatkanlah semangat ku ini..

Tetiba teringat kat suami masa lepas nikah dalam bilik nak tukar baju..haip! Nak tukar baju untuk sanding masa malam berinai ok...bukan salin baju nak tuttt ye.. He looked into my eyes pastu dia ckp 'Sayang..I love you so much'.. Rasa macam perempuan paling bahagia dalam dunia ni. Yelah sebelum ni kan selalu dipermainkan... Sesungguhnya jodoh dan ketentuan Allah itu adalah yang terbaik.... Alhamdulillah.

Orang kalau jauh dengan husband ni memang macam ni.. Kenangan manis dengan suamimenjadi semangat untuk meneruskan kehidupan seharian..kuikui.



Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

Mengidam!

Sekarang ni tengah mengidam sesangat nak makan sesuatu. Daripada hari tu asyik termimpi-mimpi. Nak makan benda kat bawah ni:

Ahhhhhh!!! Drooling!

Scones kat Cameron Highlands. Siap kena ada Cameron Highlands, boleh? Uwaaa! Nak sangat makan ni. Apsal ntah. Malam tadi nak makan roti pisang. Memalam keluar cari roti pisang. Mujur banyak kedai mamak kan....Ni tak dapat la nak keluar pepagi buta ni nak gi cari scones kat Cameron Highlands. Jauh sangatkan...tapi nak jugak yang kat Cameron Highlands. Tak kiraaaaa! 

So ajak suami katanya tunggu December nanti sebab now dia tengah busy. Harap-harap December nanti dia tak busy. Perasaan kalau dah nak tu....haish! Tuhan saje yang tahu. Tapi bersyukur sebab at least dapat bersabar dan tak mengidam apa-apa yang pelik-pelik. Mostly mengidam benda-benda manis ja. Haish...dapat sweet-tooth plak kali ni. Harap-harap masa minum air gula nanti takde apa-apalah ye.

Dah-dah. Jom sambung tido balik...Mimpi makan scones kat Cameron Highlands. Ahaks!

*Malam tadi mimpi pergi bercuti kat Italy. Hahahaha! 

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

Quickie post.

As Salam semua...
Selamat hari raya aidil adha...Rasanya Aidil Adha tahun ni yang paling tak best sebab kena balik KL on Hari Raya sebab Rabu dah kerja..uwaaaa!
Tak dapat nak lama-lama dengan suami tersayang..tak pelah..tunggu lah cuti sekolah nanti baru jumpa...
Pejam celik esok dah masuk 12 minggu dah..kejap je masa berlalu...tapi tekak ni masih lagi tawar, loya, pahit..semua pun ada...
Hmmmm..cepat-cepatlah hilang loya ni ye...

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

Alahan oh alahan!

Alahan oh alahan!
Teruk betul alahan kali ni...
Sentiasa loya...pepagi tu tak payah cakaplah...letak beef steak kat depan mata pun boleh muntah...
Hari-hari naik buntu fikir nak makan apa..semua makanan pun buat tekak ni kembang...
La ni pula timbul bangun malam semata nak muntah.
Bau sabun masa mandi pun boleh mengundang onar..
Make-up memang langsung dah tak boleh nak sentuh...
Macam mana tu?
Harap-harap cepatlah berlalu trimester pertama ni...
Ramai kawan-kawan cakap lepas 3 bulan, in shaa Allah alahan akan hilang dengan sendirinya....
Harap-harap betullah kan?

I look like a zombie everyday. T_T

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

False alarm ke?

What a tiring and hectic week! Baru balik dari 4 days course pasal Literasi BI 2.0. Penat yang amat sebab kena duduk dan tadah telinga sambil memerah otak berfikir dan kena kejar masa. Seriously penat. 4 hari dari Rabu sampai Sabtu. Terpaksa menyambut hari guru di dalam Ballroom sambil mendengar ceramah. Anyways, Selamat Hari Guru untuk semua guru-guru yang dah mengajar Akma, cikgu ssekolah tadika, Cikgu Roslah. Cikgu-cikgu di SK Merlimau 1, cikgu-cikgu di SMKA SHARODZ, SM Sains Muar, Pensyarah-pensyarah  di Kolej Matrikulasi, IPG Batu Rakit dan UiTM. Dan tak lupa juga dedikasi ucapan Hari Guru buat diri sendiri. Hihi. 

Ok. Back to the main topic. Seperti biasa bila dah berumah tangga ni...menunggu kedatangan Miss P adalah sangat mendebarkan. Akma dah buat kira-kira sejak bulan 11 tahun lepas. Period cycle adalah 35 hari. Ada satu bulan tu je 30 hari. Guess what? Now dah hari ke 45. Yayyyy! Maksudnya apa? Maksudnya dah 10 hari lewat. Hari-hari menunggu Miss P datang sekarang ni..Tapi so far belum nak datang lagi. Part of me macam nak melompat hip hip hooray. Tapi part of me said no,no,no. Jangan nak suka sangat noooo....

So Selasa lepas, Akma dah buat UPT. Tapi result negative. Adalah sangat hampa ya puan-puan. Semangat bangun tido pepagi..mata half terbuka dah buat UPT. Tapi negative. Rasa pelik dan sesuatu sebab perut dah sakit yang amat sejak 2 minggu lepas. Sakit macam nak datang Miss P. Payudara pun dah bengkak dan adalah sangat sakit especially kalau terkena baju. Rasa ngilu.....Badan plak macam demam..panas memanjang. Tekak pun macam pahit-pahit. Air chocolate juga buat rasa nak mun-mun. Badan pulak sangat letih dan cepat je nak penat-penat melampau. 

Persoalannya adakah ia hanyalah false alarm?????

Bukannya apa sebab dah buat UPT test kan. Husband dah suruh gi klinik and check sebab takut sakit lain. Tapi sebabkan sangat degil..so I ignore it. Sebabnya UPT showed negative result kan...Tapi Akma ada google pasal masalah ni. I mean UPT negative tapi pregnant. Kadang-kadang kandungan hormon hcg dalam air kencing sangat rendah sampai tak leh nak detect. Dan ada kes yang dah 3 bulan pregnant baru tau sebab bila buat UPT negative. Macam mana ni? Nak suka ke nak sedih? huhu

So tadi went to Watson. Called BFF minta pendapat. Maklumlah..BFF dah berpengalaman. Asked her UPT jenama mana yang paling berkesan. So I bought it. Tapi tak buat sekarang la. Husband suruh tunggu sampai bulan 6 which is lagi 2 minggu.

Pernah ke jadi macam ni? I mean UPT negative sebenarnya dah ada little caliph dalam perut? Pernah ke..macam phobia nak buat UPT lagi. 

Agak-agaknya dah sampai turn rezeki saya ke? Harap-harap adalah kan? Sama-samalah kita doa.

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

The first lesson

Okay, let's just keep the honeymoon entry rest in the inbox for a while.When I feel like wanna blog in English it means I have something that keep on disturbing my emotions that I need to let it out and get it off from my chest.  Being married for 41 days had already gave me one lesson. One unbelievable lesson. 

"Always look at the good side of other people even if they didn't do the same thing to you. When the situation is getting tight, just leave it to HIM. Accept it as a trial to make you strong and even more stronger. Ignore those that can make you suffer but never ever turn your back on them. Remember, ALWAYS look at the good things in them. Pay no attention to their bad side, put it away. I believe that a mountain of prayers with the ray of hope, everything is going to be just fine. In shaa Allah"

Husband is my everything now. He knows his wife so well and more importantly, he knew the things that going on between us. Some people love to exaggerate things just for fun. Maybe they need more attention or maybe they should help themselves to get out from the sea of jealousy. Well I don't know. Allah knows best. 

The lesson was unbelievable.

Close my eyes, take a deep breath and exhale. I'll be fine. Things are going to be just fine. Time will heal everything. Good night everyone.

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

Hoping, aren't you?

The break-up had really knocked my head so bad. I feel like the world had nearly came to an end. The feeling of being dumped when you had tried so hard to work it out is like being hit by a truck. You can't breathe, you can't even think like a wise woman. You shed your tears and you couldn't dry it. So for the past few months I tried to summarize what are the mistakes that we'd done and might be the reason why we wasted our 6 years old of relationship. Whoever wrote this quotes, I think he should get credit for it.

A woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing.

A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything.

And that would be the best reason why we broke up. He had failed the test. I really hope that he will repeat the test again...Soon, I hope.

Dear self, are you still crying? Still hoping? Still have feeling for him? 

Why?

Because he's perfect, you jerk!

God, please help me.

Oh! Please stop hoping! *punching my own face*

Hugs and kisses.

Never stop blogging.

Once I thought to stop this blogging things. But then I realized that it won't work. I feel like I'm missing something that I don't know what it is.

Hmm...lame..lame..so lame.. Years of blogging, I only posted 662 entries. What happened to me? Where is my spirit of blogging? Did I lost it when I lost the love of my life? Somebody tell me...

Well..just never stop blogging.

And hey, never stop believing in yourself, Akma. Believe that there will always be sunshine after the rain heavy rain.

Soon you'll see the light. It's just around the corner. 

Smile always!

Hugs and kisses.

Kalah siput sedut!

Nak post entry hutang...tapi malangnya internet tersangatlah lembabnya..kalah siput sedut. Maka nak upload gambar kan main lama lagi kan...Hai..sabar je la.. Tunggu memalam sikit la. 

Ok. Jom maghrib!

Hugs and kisses.

Tolonglah tidur!

Bila malam datang pastu Akma cuba paksa mata untuk tidur tapi mata tak mahu nak lelap...Akma selalu terfikirkan sesuatu. Then mesti teringat benda tu. Benda lain tak teringat pulak. Alahai...nasib la bukan Khamis malam Jumaat. Benda ni kalau terfikir mesti nak jengah-jengah bawah katil. Pantang dengar bunyi skit. Mulalah melilau-lilau mata dalam gelap nak tengok benda ape.

Korang nak tengok ke benda ape yang tengah difikirkan ni? hmm....tak payah la...sat gi korang plak tak leh tidur....Akma pun seram nak tepek gambar die kat sini. Kang satgi terbayang dia golek-golek...aihh..simpang!!! Dalam banyak-banyak kaum dia, hat dia ni la yang paling seram. Padahal dia simple je kot. Macam gula-gula. Tapi sumpah meremang bulu roma.

Ya Allah. Lelapkan lah mata ni. Dah baca doa tidur banyak kali dah ni....Jangan fikir lagi, boleh tak?

Bismika Allaahumma ahyaa wa amuut. Amin.

Assalamualaikum.

Hugs and kisses.

Extra earning?

Everybody in the house is now having their sweet dream. All I could hear is my nieces snoring. They must be tired playing all day! But that's not the point. 

Well. I can't sleep.. Yes, I'm damn tired of shopping the whole day! That doesn't help me to shut my eyes. Counting sheep also didn't help. Hello!! Someone needs some sleep here! Adoi!

Oh yes..I did mention before that I want to earn extra money, right? With the help of my friend, I got a call from one of the well known magazine publisher for a test shoot. What?????????????????????? Bajet model muslimah uolssss! Kuangkuangkuang....

The thing is...I'm not sure that I can make it or not. Maybe belum biasa kot...Tapi part of me nak pergi cuba try test....Tapi..iolsss kan pemalu...Gitu...

Another thing is....memandangkan la ni iolsss digantung tak bertali kan....so I think I don't need that extra earning anymore. What I have now is enough for me to spend. Ceh...kan main berlagak lagi kan...Well...not trying to be snobbish here..Just that I don't really think I need that extra money anymore..Lagipun miggu depan nak spend time dengan family. Ceh..alasan..

Patah seribu...hatiku....Kuangkuangkuang..Oklah gohjes..nak grab buku..baca sampai terlelap. Good night gohjess-gohjess sekalian. Muaahh!

Psssttt...korang nak gi tak?

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai.

All about gambaq!

Frankly speaking, entry bersama gambaq adalah lebih menarik dari entry yang tidak bergambaq. Like people always said "Let the photos do the talking". Hangpa jangan salah faham. Gambaq mana boleh bercakap. Tu dalam cerita P. Ramlee buleh la. Kisah cinta Abang Berahim dan Aini. Hat tu memang gambaq dia buleh keluaq suara...kan? Siap buleh sumpah-sumpah naaa...Takut plak kalau gambaq buleh cakap betui-betui..Naya sat gi. Maksudnya kat sini bila ada gambaq, lagi buleh nak menguatkan atau meng-strong-kan story mory yang hangpa nak share bersama followers tersayang. La ni device 'gigibiru' sedang buat masalah. Jadi banyak gambaq yang tak dapat nak masuk dalam lappy. Maaflah, my phone tak la canggih macam tepon hangpa. Cheq dak pakai Blackberry mahupun Blueberry...cheq duk pakai phone strawberry ja...sob..sob..So nak minta maaf la banyak-banyak sebab kebelakangan ni malas betui nak update blog. Reason sebab gambaq takleh dah upload masuk lappy. Kena hantaq kot email. Bila takdak gambaq, rasa mcm kosong. Tadi baru ja sent gambaq-gambaq last week..send pakai email naaa...Nak bukak email memang cheq malas. La ni rasa nak tidoqqq...

Gambaq sekadar hiasan. Tiada kena mengena dengan entry, tapi ada kena mengena dengan perut cheq yang tengah lapaq ni. Teringat broccoli omelet cheq hari tu.......sedapnya..

Ok, bai semua. See you all again.

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

Quickie

Well, when you are in the mood of blogging, sometimes you just need few minutes to post an entry. You know what? I really wanna to ramble few things that keep mingling inside my mind right now. How I wish I have times to dance my pretty fingers on my shabby keyboard. Damn! I need 25 hours a day instead of 24!!! Boleh tak macam tu?

I have stacks of workloads that need to be settled within this week. And I miss my family so much right now. Nak balik kampung pun tak de masa...apantah lagi nak update blog. You understand how busy I am? Kalah Perdana Menteri kan? Ok then, I have class after this. Will catch up with you guys later on after this. 

Miss you guys so much! 

Footnote: I think I'm getting stronger la..Thank You Allah.=)

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai.

Greetings

Hi everyone! Feels like ages since my last update. Now I feel like blogging again. I changed my header, again. It's one of the photos taken from my last photo shoot session. Nice isn't it? I like it very much when it comes to something black and white. Ngee~

Well it seems like I have to change my header again and again, then I can get the mood to blog??

See ya. Got lots of stories to share.

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai

Uwekk!!

Perlu ke title muntah-muntah gitu?? Pardon me. The writer is not feeling well past few days. Sekarang pun masih memulas-mulas perut ni. Muntah-muntah dan cirit-birit. Orang pergi beraya, I duk rumah, tergolek. Hari ni alhamdulillah..dah boleh bangun. So tadi decided to make chicken porridge for dinner. Maklumlah...kampung I takde McD yang berdekatan...Sob..sob...

Bubur ayam Cikmai..=)

Sakit pun sakit jugak...Tapi tekak ni tetap mengada-ngada..Oklah..it's time to bake a cake. See ya soon. Muah ! Muah !

Esok will be back to KL..Malasnya!!!!!

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai.

Quotes of the day - Part 2

Cikmai's Quote of the day :

You will find happiness in your relationship when you put yourself in his shoes. 

5 years and still counting. I love him every now and then. =)

Hugs and kisses,
Cikmai.

I telah decide to let go the offer even they will pay me RM500 per hour. Let say the photo-shooting takes 2 hour then I will be paid RM1k. * Biji mata dah bertukar jadi RM *Menggelepur sebenarnya but then Encik Bakal say DON'T so it means DON'T. 

Baiklah. Sumpah, otak kering gila. Puas dah perah dari balik sekolah tadi nak update. Tapi I end up blur bila staring at my laptop screen. Tu la jadinya when you have abundance of memories kept in your inbox tapi you were too lazy to update. Ok. Takde idea. Iklan kejap.

Take care , Garnier.

Kelasss ko Jah! Iklan Garnier...Gitu...Kuangkuangkuang...

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai

It's just a simple 3 words text.

The text was simple. Only three words. But the effect from those three words make me feel like I'm flying up in the sky with my two invisible wings. Is this something that we call it as LOVE? Huh! Another rhetorical question that you don't have to answer me.  

Well....never had the idea that those three words could drive me insane. I love you too baby. Always, now and forever.

Gosh!!Look at the time. It's quarter to 1 a.m. but I still couldn't close my eyes even though my body needs to be recharged for tomorrow. So I guess I need to force myself to fall asleep. Perhaps counting the imaginary sheep will help me out rather than taking sleeping pills. Hey, I think I managed to stop taking those pills. Night.

Assalamualaikum.

Hugs and kisses,

Cikmai.