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July 27, 2010

All cried out

I always think that I'm better now, but apparently I'm not. I still cry my hell out almost every night before I sleep. It must have been the hormones, what else to be blamed of?

Apparently, these hormones have successfully make me so emotionally intense. I keep on blaming myself for being so inconsiderate before. How stupid I was. As my tears running down on my cheek, my brain starts to wreck and flashback comes without being invited.

Please..define sacrifice. How many times your love one voluntarily relinquished something valued to you? If you asked me, actually the answer will be infinity. I just couldn't count them. But I didn't realize it before. I keep on nagging again and again and sometimes I was being an idiot narcissist partner. I admit that. But people change and so do I. I'm moving on now..towards the bright side.

But hey, believe it or not, crying all out before sleep gets me better and better every each day. I'm now able to see understand what sacrifice is all about. I know...you might think it's just so cliche. You just don't get how I feel, what I have in my heart right now.

He is the man that I've been waiting for. The man that can change me to think, to act, to feel and to love like an adult. Understand and trust each other will be the most important elements in every long distance relationship.

But why do I have to cry? Because I'm happy, I'm grateful to have him as my tears, my joy, my happiness, my laughter, my pain- my everything. Thank you tears as you make me better and better every each day. That's what I mean by renewing myself each day again and again.

P/S: Happy 53rd month anniversary my dear. I love you even more.

Good night everyone.

Hugs and kisses,

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