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April 20, 2010

Saying Goodbye - Part 1

First of all I dedicated this entry to all my Sunshines who keep on reading and supporting my blog and also especially for him. Perhaps, this is going to be a long entry too. I guess this is my unofficial goodbye to all my dearest readers. Now, it's like everyone is talking about this "posting issue" which had put me into a mixed of feelings- sad, nervous, curious, afraid, happy and worried. For your information, I will be posted on this coming July so I guess I have no time to go and meet each one of you just to say goodbye. I will be busy with my exam this coming May and on June I have to finish all the Government courses. You know what it means? Yes. The time is running up. Oh yes, where am I going to be posted, let it remains as a secret. But I can tell you that I'm going to place where people are still using boat as their main transport. And you will be like so damn lucky if you can use your cell phone there.

For me, goodbye means everything. There is nothing in the world like saying goodbye. The sadness that comes with it is like no other, but the hope that comes with it as well - the hope that this is not a last goodbye. The hope that keeps us going, keeps our heads high as we wait for the next time..well if that next time comes, of course.

I know some of you might think that saying goodbye is such a big deal, probably because you have never had to do so. Friends have come and gone ever since I was a little. At a very young age, I was introduced to this sadness of saying goodbye. I still remember vividly the moment of saying goodbye to my very best friend. She moved to London and I hugged her tightly and I wish I could never let her go but I had to. Well, I could say that goodbye became a very real to me. Some people have never felt this realness before, and some may never experience it. But for me...I do.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely not a good thing either. Goodbyes are apart of my life, much like meeting new people. Throughout my life, people come in and go out..and it’s natural. My life has been filled with saying goodbyes, a lot of them to my close friends. Sometimes this physical separation can cause a friendship to breakdown and maybe a relationship with my love one also...I guess you know who. Yet, sometimes friends can grow even closer through it. Sadly, most of the time my friends and I have lost this connection, simply because we got caught up in our daily lives- study, work, family, kids...so on and so forth.

So I guess I'm going to bounce into this emotion again. But this time, it will involve a lot of people: especially my family, my friends, my dearest readers and followers...and of course, him. I might not be able to update my blog after being posted. But I'm still hoping that there will be no problem in internet connection there. It's hard for me to say goodbye now. It gets me so suffocated and I feel like crying. But I know that if I look at saying goodbye as a new hope, things begin to brighten up. I have a hope that I will someday be able to see you, you, you and you again. Now, that is enough to keep me going. Well..saying goodbye may bring a great deal of sadness to me, but the amount of sadness depends on my hope in seeing you guys again. And I just want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
I love you all..and I am going to miss you guys.

Hugs and Kisses,

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