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November 05, 2010

I really don't have to worry.

Good morning world. It’s a beautiful morning. The sun hasn’t shine yet, but I hope it will shine brightly soon. The morning breeze is cool and crisp. I feel so refresh, no back pain again.

Alhamdulillah..that’s the first word that will come out every time I wake up from my sleep. I’m thankful as I have been given a chance to breath, to live and to change myself to a better person, insyaAllah. I know that every time when I woke up from sleep, I’m getting older. Next year I will turn 25. Can’t you imagine? Time flies so fast!

The question is “Are you afraid of getting old? “ Growing old is something that is impossible for us to avoid. Everybody knows that it will come no matter what. But why is it that certain people will freak out when they hear of growing old. Besides, they refuse to accept that they are growing old.

Albeit some of us might afraid of growing old, I lean on the thought that somewhere, somehow, in the growing old stage I will be more peaceful. In fact, I will have more organized life. I never feel like I’m 25 years old. I go to work every day and teach very young kids. I laugh with them, play with them and when the class is over I feel that I have gained one good lesson and saved one white hair. I feel like wow!

As my age increased by one digit, my life also will move from one stage to one stage, a higher one. Responsibilities increase, let alone the debt. That won’t be a burden for me. I have my pay check every month. As long as I can manage my financial well, I’ll be fine.

What about my relationship? There’s nothing to worry about not getting married soon. Like what he said, we are not teenagers anymore. We are now at the higher stage of our relationship. I would love to call it as “waiting stage”. It’s a transition phase before we change our life to husband and wife. Even I’m older that he, his thought is more matured than mine. He is so cool and sweet in his own way. I don’t want to think about the third person anymore. Reminiscing about those things doesn’t give me one bit consolation but merely heartache and desperation. But hey, it’s normal for a sensitive person like me.

But sometimes this phase makes me feel so lonely. I could feel that this feeling is crawling inside of me. Even though we live quite near from each other (approximately 30 minutes drive), we rarely see each other. We rarely go out for movie together like before as we are busy with our work and responsibilities.

Don’t worry dear self. I know that you are an optimistic. The best way for me to forget being alone is to remind myself that there is nothing to be lonely about. I must remind myself not to let loneliness takes over. Furthermore, life is too short to make it miserable. I just have to enjoy my life and make the best of it. I don’t want to waste my life being lonely. I have no reason to be depressed. What more important is I’ve got him and he’s got me too.

Owh, I need to shower my baby Titine. I’ll post a picture of my baby soon.

By the way, Happy Deepavali my friends. Have a blast Deepavali.

Hugs and kisses,

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