Well...Maybe it's just a coincidence..

I have nothing to do tonight..jadi Cikmai pun berjalan-jalan di alam maya ni mencari personaliti berdasarkan bulan kelahiran mengikut kajian Dr. Hj. fadzilah Kamsah. Okay ini ialah antara ciri-ciri personaliti bagi mereka yang lahir pada bulan June. Cikmai pun termasuklah dalam golongan ni.

Berfikiran jauh dan berwawasan
Mudah ditawan kerana sikap baik
Berperangai yg lemah lembut
Mudah berubah sikap ,perangai idea atau mood
Idea yg terlalu banyak dikepala
Bersikap sensitive
Otaknya aktif (sentiasa berfikir)
Suka melakukan sesuatu dengan segera
Bersikap suka menangguh-nangguh
Bersikap terlalu memilih dan mahukan yg terbaik
Cepat marah dan mudah sejuk
Suka bercakap dan berdebat
Suka buat lawak dan bergurau
Otaknya cerdas berangan-angan (so like me!)
Mudah berkawan dan pandai berkawan
Orangnya sangat tertib
Pandai mempamerkan sikap
Mudah kecil hati
Mudah kena selsema
Suka berkemas
Cepat rasa bosan
Sikap terlalu memilih dan cerewet
Kurang mempamirkan perasaan
Lambat nak sembuh bila terluka hati
Suka pada barang yg berjenama(wowzahhhhh!!so true!!!)
Mudah menjadi eksekutif (what??I'm a teacher..not an executive)
Kedegilan yang tak terkawal (yes, I am!)
Sesiapa yang memuji saya adalah musuh saya,
tetapi sesiapa yang menegur saya adalah kawan saya

Well...maybe it's just a coincidence..

Hugs and kisses,

Beautiful?? I'm not!!

Beauty????? Some say it lies in the eyes of the beholder. Some say it's genetic. You know...it's in the blood. Some might say..beauty own by the rich people as they've got a lot of money. Which mean they are really in the circle of high maintenance freaks. A thousand bucks cream won't be a burden.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of a kind.

I'm not beautiful. I do all kinds of things to make myself look beautiful. I adore beautiful ladies. I'm dying to look beautiful..flawless skin, no pimples, no rashes, nothing.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have the confidence to meet other people. Whenever I shared this problem with my boyfriend, his answer would be "It's not important to me. Inner beauty worth than everything. To me, you are beautiful". And it makes me came to a silent pause.

The concept of beauty has been painfully distorted nowadays. Everyone wants to look beautiful (well of course, including me) but one thing that people forget is their inner beauty. If you're not beautiful from inside, then no matter what you do, you can't look beautiful from the outside.

Just be happy. If you're happy from the inside, then it can be clearly seen on your face. You don't have to bring your fake smile as inner beauty is what reflects outside. So I should realize now that beauty is not everything..It just something that can be acquired. After all, it won't last forever. The inner beauty will remain for long..it's a pure heart that will remain forever the same.

Remember...if you have a good heart, you will be the most prettiest thing ever on this earth. Then you will realize the true meaning of beauty. Keep on smiling everyone..but not a fake smile, please??

Hugs and kisses,

Didn't I?

Years ago, someone, a stranger blogger made a complain about the way I pose in every photos taken. He was wondering why, every time I smile, I didn't show off my teeth. He said there must be something wrong with my teeth, cavities, maybe. Okay, just let me explain. There's nothing wrong with my teeth. I know they're not that perfect..but hey, at least I do have teeth. You really want to see my teeth???????

That's me, showing off my teeth.

See..there's nothing wrong with my teeth. It just that I think I do look better to not showing off my teeth when I smile, DIDN'T I?

What do you think?

Hugs and kisses,

All cried out

I always think that I'm better now, but apparently I'm not. I still cry my hell out almost every night before I sleep. It must have been the hormones, what else to be blamed of?

Apparently, these hormones have successfully make me so emotionally intense. I keep on blaming myself for being so inconsiderate before. How stupid I was. As my tears running down on my cheek, my brain starts to wreck and flashback comes without being invited.

Please..define sacrifice. How many times your love one voluntarily relinquished something valued to you? If you asked me, actually the answer will be infinity. I just couldn't count them. But I didn't realize it before. I keep on nagging again and again and sometimes I was being an idiot narcissist partner. I admit that. But people change and so do I. I'm moving on now..towards the bright side.

But hey, believe it or not, crying all out before sleep gets me better and better every each day. I'm now able to see understand what sacrifice is all about. I know...you might think it's just so cliche. You just don't get how I feel, what I have in my heart right now.

He is the man that I've been waiting for. The man that can change me to think, to act, to feel and to love like an adult. Understand and trust each other will be the most important elements in every long distance relationship.

But why do I have to cry? Because I'm happy, I'm grateful to have him as my tears, my joy, my happiness, my laughter, my pain- my everything. Thank you tears as you make me better and better every each day. That's what I mean by renewing myself each day again and again.

P/S: Happy 53rd month anniversary my dear. I love you even more.


Good night everyone.

Hugs and kisses,

Just dreaming

I went to Paris yesterday. My boyfriend and I spent our romantic picnic, viewing the Eiffel Tower. We could hear the birds singing a sweet lullaby..we saw a few couples laughing, spending their most memorable moments together, and so do us. He held me tightly and I kissed him softly. Then I could hear he whispered to my ears those three words..Again, I fell for him..again and again and again..and forever again....STOP! Muahahahahahahahaha..Just dreaming meh! Manela sempat nak pergi sampai ke Paris. Gile ke ape??? Jauh tuh..En. fulus pun nak tak nak je ade dalam purse nih.. Besides, mane boleh kissing kissing nih..Belum kahwin ma....Sigh~

By the way, I'm still waiting for 2nd of August. The fact is I'm getting bored for every single minutes that I spent during that waiting period. Tell me what should I do. Just tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry guys. Today was just another emotional day for me. Can't wait for tomorrow, hoping for a better day. Hey, I'm renewing myself each day, get it? Smile!!=)

Hugs and kisses,

Just Checking

Hello!Hello! Saje je Cikmai nak check korang semua. Dah sehari tak update. I'm afraid that you all gonna miss me. Rindu tak? Rindu tak? Cakapla rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.............ngee~

Well, I really don't have time to update anything now. Told you, I was just checking. Caring tak Cikmai?Caring kan?kan?kan?=)


Hugs and kisses,

Kuih...kuih....

Holla! Happy Saturday everyone! Kuih-kuih........Eh, Cikmai bukan nak menjual kuih la...Hari ini tetibe teruja nak menjamu selera macam harimau ni dengan kuih. Fikir punya fikir, nak buat kuih tradisional la..I'm bored of kuih mat saleh,you know?? Kuangkuangkuang...So, Cikmai menguli la Buah Melaka atau nama lain Onde-onde. Dah makan pun...Kenyang yang teramat...Sampai sekarang rasa tak lapar lagi. Yang penting, mak saya suka!!!!!

Erm...anda tahu kan onde-onde? Impossible tak tahu. Mestilah tahu, bukan? Kata 1 Malaysia.. Actually kuih ni simple je. Takla complicated like chesse cake. That's why I love kueh Melayu so much! Bahan-bahan pun mudah - air pandan ( Cikmai blend daun pandan jadi mcm juice gitu), tepung pulut, dan sedikit kapur (sikit je tau..tak sampai pun setengah sudu teh) and gula Melaka sebagai inti. By the way, bukan kapur kasut or kapur yang cikgu buat tulis kat papan hitam tu. Kapur barus pun bukan. Kapur sireh tu ye......

Aik? Kenapa Cikmai added kapur? Tula rahsia adunan jadi lembut. Dan lagi satu, Cikmai tak suka pakai pewarna hijau. Biarkan warna dia natural from pandan. Hello!! Orang dulu-dulu time zaman Hang Tuah ade ke pewarna hijau???!!!! Oh, I nearly forgot..Dan kelapa parut. Kelapa ni pun pilih yang putih berseri macam iklan gigi tu..Pastu gaulkan dengan garam supaya kelapa tak basi.

Okaylah tak nak bebel panjang. Nak fikir esok nak buat ape pulak. Oh ya, silalah ambil sebiji onde-onde Cikmai. Kuang..kuang..kuang...

Jemput makan. Hehe.

HUgs and kisses,

Yay!!

Already found my lucky # 10,000!!! Take a look at this:

Wah2...dari Seremban..Siapa ya? Ngeee~

Okaylah..mata pun dah mengantuk..Nak tidur dulu..Good night all.

Hugs and kisses,

10,000!

Holla!!! Ishk..tajuk macam musykil je..Apekah?? 10,000 promises? Like a song from BSB? Okay..just straight to the point. Take a look at my visitors. I'm looking forward..who will be the Lucky #10,000n visitor?? Hmm....dup dap..dup dap..berdebar-debar rasanya!!!!!!! Weee~ Wait and see.

Hugs and kisses,

Tentang rindu

Holla ladies! Pergh..tajuk macam jiwang je bunyinye..Memang pun terasa macam nak update panjang-panjang...tapi tak tau nak story-mory pasal ape...Lagipun tengah penat sangat..rase macam baru lepas angkat seekor gajah. Larat ke?woot~wooot~

Huarghhhhh!!!! Sumpah!!! Rindu gila dekat dia!!!!! Really really really miss "dia" so damn much!! Erk???? Rindu sape??? I miss "dia" la... Who else?

Sumpah rindu!! Tak tipu....Hope he is fine. I miss him. sob..sob..(T_T)

Hugs and kisses,

Great Item! - Part 2

Hola ladies!! Remember about kain yang Cikmai war-warkan tu? Well here it is. Kain sutera, batik asli Terengganu..Yang ni jenis marble. When it comes to marble, maknanya colour dia berlapis-lapis. Yang ni warna dia memang tersangat sweet light purple macam lavender tu dengan very light pink. Aduh..sweet bangat deh. Material kain sangat lembut..confirm selesa dan tak panas. Kain ni agak mahal la...masih ada harga lagi dekat kotak. Ye..MASIH BERKOTAK!!!!But I sell it half price. Reason seriously dah ada exactly the same colour..cuma corak batik dia lain. Memang very the gorgeous one. Kain dia lembut sangat sangat sangat!!! Pendek kata superb!

Kain masih di dalam kotak..lembutnya...see...

Cantik...melambangkan identiti sebagai rakyat Malaysia...

Sorry..pic was taken by lousy camera..

RM350 RM150 ONLY!!!
Termasuk postage ya ladies..
Sorry ya ladies. SOLD TO ANIZ. Siapa cepat, dia dapat!

Interested?? Berminat?? Drop me a comment. Grab it before it's gone! Cepat..sempat lagi buat raya nih!! Serious buyer only, ya.=) Thanks ladies!! Mmmuuaaahhh!!


Hugs and Kisses,

They are adorable

Hot topic for today.......kids with disability, kecilkan scope syndrome down kids. I know..I know...It's not a new issue. Sort of like dah basi gitu. But some of the people out there are still lack of awareness about this issue. People with a perception that these kids were monsters. But of course, they were totally wrong!

I remember few months back, when I was alone at the airport, waiting to depart, there was a boy, age around 3-4 years old, born with down syndrome, came to me (My boyfriend panggil saya magnet sebab bila jumpa kanak-kanak, mesti they'll come to me.Magnet???Apakah??). I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. I said "Hi" and he gave me his hand. I took his hand and asked what's his name. Then he hugged me and said "Ma...ma..". OMG! Isn't he's adorable? I was amazed by one of God's creature. Sangat comel. But then his elder brother seems like didn't feel comfortable with him. Ishk...tak baik abang buat mcm tu kat adik...

Saya tahu..saya belum pun ada anak, but I know raising kids with such disabilities can be challenging in many ways. But they are human too, like us. It just that instead of having 46 chromosomes, they have 47, the extra being with the 21st pair (Trisomy). And that's make them so special.

Isn't she adorable?
*Picture courtesy from Google edited by me*

I do make some light reading regarding syndrome down kids. Because I'm a teacher, who knows maybe someday I have to face with these special kids. Plus, I adore children so much, tak kisahlah mereka normal atau pun tidak. Furthermore, sooner or later, I'll become a mother too, right? So I have to be prepared. Well, generally these children want to be normal, want to be just like all of other children at their age, but they just don't get it why they are different from them. They are capable to understand what they are missing on but then, when they realized they are different from other kids at their age, they will become depressed. But hey, they are also able to be educated much like anyone else. Sometimes, in certain cases, these kids are even able to do better than their normal peers. See...how unique these kids are? Don't you ever underestimate them.

Again, these kids are special and unique. They have to be treated equally. Pernah kadang-kadang tengok drama tentang kids with disabilties, yang mana selalunya, ayah ataupun ibu dia tak mengaku yang itu ialah anaknya. Dan seringkali juga dalam drama tersebut si ayah will put the blame on the mother sebab lahirkan anak sebegitu dan begitu juga sebaliknya. Ya ampun..sedih..sometimes menitis airmata bila tengok drama sebegitu. Mereka tak berdosa. Mereka sama seperti kita..Human being. It just because they are special, doesn't mean they are different. So please..please..please..for those yang masih konon-konon macam geli ataupun jijik denagn kanak-kanak seperti ini, tolonglah ubah persepsi anda. Mereka juga datang dari pencipta yang sama. In fact, they are more special than us. Renung-renungkan!


Hugs and kisses,

Great item!- Part 1

Hola!! Rindu tak dengan Cikmai? Mesti rindu kan?? Kalau tak takkan hari-hari datang blog Cikmai even tau tak de update..ngeeee~ Anyways. ....Today I'm not going to ramble about this and that. Tapi nak let go something yang masih baru, masih belum berjahit. Kain kebaya ni I bought it from Frenny di Indonesia. Mula-mula memang beli untuk buat baju sendiri. But then bila Cikmai tengok dalam wardrobe, dah ada 6 pasang baju kebaya dan ada satu lagi pending belum jahit, and tambah lagi satu baju kebaya nyonya ready made, I bought it last month, sudah ada 8 pasang. Daripada 8 pasang tu, cuma baru pakai 2 pasang.So sebab dah ada baju kebaya warna merah, I think I want to let go this one, memandangkan ianya belum berjahit. Sangat cantik. Sulam dia cantik...siap ada labuci lagi. Gorgeous, okay? Serious, memang sangat cantik! Kain pun tak panas. Memang ikutkan hati sayang nak let go. Tapi sebab kain yang tak berjahit dah semakin banyak, I have to let go.

RM80 only. Termasuk postage ya.

*Picture courtesy from Frenny.
SOLD TO GIA..sorry guys. Siapa cepat dia dapat.

Ada siapa-siapa berminat? Drop me a comment, okay? But remember, only for those yang serious. =)Cepat..Boleh pakai buat raya.

p/s: I do have lagi sepasang kain yang tak jahit untuk di let go. Tapi tak sempat nak ambil gambar...nanti okay?

Hugs and kisses,

Life is unfair.

In life, we never rarely get what we want. That makes life is unfair. I bet it's not only me, who keep on lamenting the fact that life is UNFAIR..other people also. Did you realize that nowadays, the poor are getting poorer, the richer are getting richer, the failure become more failure and the successful became more successful. Life is indeed so damn unfair.

In my own life, all things that I see are like normal mundane things- unglamorous and unfair. Okay....I want to share with you something. Something that I considered as biased and unethical. Something that makes me blew up my top. I really don't like HATE it when an idle jerk got a better result without even had to strive for it. I labeled her as a photocopy machine who always copying other people ideas and works especially mine. But then she got an A- while I only got B+. I could say that almost 70% of your work are MY IDEAS, my masterpiece. But how could...what the hell was that?? If only I could turn back time and make my beloved Mongol sister explains the truth to the lecturer that she's don't deserve to get an A. But it's too late.

She always thought that she has a notable beauty that could make all guys fall for her. So she used that so-called-advantage to get whatever she wished for. Going out with lecturers so that you could get better grades? Going out with guy that came from out of nowhere..asked him to get you make-up, this and that..Owh.. Now I knew where did you get the money from. Did you sell your body too? Ouch!!! Sorry I had to say this..but you're just a bitch. You are not like what you said, like what you proud of. You're a just a coward banshee who keeps on hiding your flaws by being an extrovert person and keep on pretending. Opppsss...It seems like I just let the cat out of the bag!!

Seriously, knowing you will be the worst thing had ever happened in my life, EVER!Thanks to them, 3 of them that who must not be named here, for bringing me into reality that she's not a good person. I admit that you are generous..but being generous doesn't mean you are a good person. I did respect you as a sister before but now, I don't. How should I respect you if anyone with a BRAIN can see what you did were completely wrong? Sometimes I feel sorry for her because I think she's actually doesn't have that BRAIN. Owh..one more thing. Miss so-called-perfect, stop badmouthing about your little sister in front of others. You knew that she's a way better than you. But you just afraid to admit it, don't you?

There's a lot of other things happened to me that makes me think life is so unfair. Awful thing had happened and I couldn't turn back time even if I'm begging for it. But don't worry. I knew just what I can do to change this unfairness in life. It's something that we call it as ATTITUDE. It is about being contented with my life and what I've got, accept all the Qada' and Qadar from my creator, Allah the Almighty. Stop complaining and get on with my life and work. So "Live life to the fullest". Haha. It might sound like cliched, but I should start pondering that adage from now on You know what? There's no point of thinking whether life is unfair or not because life is indeed unfair. Just go on and live my dreams. In fact, I'm sick and tired of being entertained by people like miss so-called-perfect.

Owh,I do have another story about a different version of miss so-called-perfect. Let it be in my another so-called entry. Muahahahahahaha...


Hugs and kisses,

Wondering

It's already 1.25 a.m. but I couldn't sleep. Hmm.. thought of having a slice of Vienetta's ice-cream.

I wonder what is he doing right now?

Been waiting for him since morning. Hmm.....guys are unpredictable.

Till then.

Hugs and kisses,

Mixed up!

It's been a long time since I posted the gedik-gedik entry. Erk...pernah ke? Gile ape.... Well I can't remember, actually. =P

I think I had screw up my brain right now. The Sudoku puzzles get very tough. I've been beating my brains out with it, but I just can't solve it. What happen?? Aiyooo~ Maybe I need a break. Or maybe I need a new book..My eyes are getting sick by looking at that yellow Sudoku book. Yellow is not one of my favourite colour, by the way. But I owned a couple of yellow Tees. No biggie!

Recently, I've been dreaming of him for almost everynight. Well....it's maybe a sign that he will hand me a proposal...don't you think. Perasan...wink,wink~Don't count my chicken before they've hatched!!!Oh no!! Please...Don't assume "that" thing will happen just because I dreamed of him every night. Probably I've been missing him like crazy~ Help me!!!

Mom is fasting today so I prepared a cream caramel for her. Sweet tak I? weee~ Better off to the kitchen right now. I still have to mixed the kerabu sotong.


Hugs and Kisses,

Superstitions

On my way back to Melaka from KL, I watched an Indonesian horror movie. It's "TIREN" or mati kelmaren. It's about a dead girl, who comes back to live when a black cat jumped over her dead body during the funeral. It's quit scary!

Okay, let's get back to business....Superstition. Nowadays, superstitious beliefs are shrugged off by most people in this modern age. People believe in facts and realities rather than superstitious belief as it has nothing to do with daily occurrences in real life situations. Some of us might say that superstitious beliefs are the products of some people's fantasies and imaginations and real world has no place for them.

Picture courtesy from Google picture

Here, I would like to focus on the black cat's superstition. I believed that no other animal on earth has inspired more superstitious than the cat, especially the black cat. Most superstitious view black cat as bad omens. Like what I watched in that movie, a dead body comes alive when a black cat jumped over it's body. I did hear about this superstitious belief before, but how far the truth is, I don't know. I think I have to make research about superstition. If anyone of you knew about this black cat thingy, or ever encountered with this kind of situation, please do share it with me. I would love to hear stories from you.


Hugs and Kisses,

Just perfect!

Hello Lovelies! I wanted to write and tell you all how much I enjoyed my weekend with people that I love - him & his family and my best friend, Cik Dilla. How I wish I could have such weekend for every week!

First I have to thank Cik Dilla for the 5 stars accommodation. Thanks babe for everything. We were gossiping about "this" and "that" until 2.30 in the morning! Majorly about things that have to do with beauty and relationship. Babe, I learned something from you about life. You were right. People don't know things that we were facing so they can say everything without knowing how we feel. And we have to learn to be selfish because life is sometimes cruel and unfair. Thanks babe for everything. About the cleaning-the-toilet thingy, no biggie! I'm just tired of wrecking my brain to solve the very difficult level of Sudoku puzzle. So, by doing such chore, I can let my brain rest for a moment. So..no big deal darling. No worries. Already miss you, babe!

Secondly, many many thanks to him for giving me the happy and smiling hormone. I had such a great 3 days with you. Thanks for that Twilight: Eclipse movie, which I didn't expect that I was actually watching it. That movie was so the jiwang-karat meh! Never knew that vampires and werewolves are romantic. lol!

Secondly, thanks sayang for the birthday present. I love it so much!! I promise that I'll write letters to you using that pen, like what you asked for. Auwww~ very the sweet lor!

Next, thank you, thank you and thank you again sayang for our trip to FLORIA 2010. You knew I adore orchids so much! I feel like we were in the heaven of flowers! But that heaven were crowded of people and that mysterious mak cik! Dear, was the mak cik real? She's so freak and like only me and you could see that mak cik there. She reminds me of one makcik in the movie of Congkak. And one thing that I don't understand until now, why did she hold you hand???? Did you remind her about her dead ex-husband?? Scary, meh!!

Oh yes, before I forgot, many,many, many thank you to mama for letting me used her kitchen. Only God knows how nervous I was at that moment. Dear, you should tell mama that I'm going to bake a cake. But Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. Dear, don't forget to upload the photos.

Again, my dear and babe, thank you all so much for a fabulous weekend! I haven't smiled so hard or so much in far too long! I can't wait until we get together again!

My last weekend was just perfect!

Hugs and Kisses,

Daydreaming

Last night I stared at the blank ceiling in my room, pretending like it was a blank white canvas. And there was me, ready to paint my own version of so-called painting to symbolize my dreams, my hopes, my wishes-like always I did before I close my eyes and fall asleep.

One word- Daydreaming. Most people don't consider daydreaming as a part of actual dreams. But seriously, everyday, I daydream about something, like future plans, reminiscences about the past, or non-sense images. I think daydreaming maybe applicable just as nightly dreams. Often, when I think things in my head, I attempt to add a bit of unrealistic and fantasy dreams at the end. I can control them to become like what I want and wish for. I can basically let my creative imaginations run away with my brain to the wonderland. Wee~

So....CONFESSION please. I'm now, happy to confess that...as being a short-time-period jobless...I'm now an official part-time daydreamer. and also a part-time SUDOKU puzzle addict.

Daydreaming~

Sigh~

Hugs and Kisses,

Change

Have you ever woke up in the morning and gave a pause for a moment, thinking what life is all about...what will happen to you today...are you going to have luck or are you going to have a bad day or are you going to be left out? While people was busy doing what was written on their schedule, there was me, still thinking about the ups and downs, pinks and blues, the circles and the squares of life.

This morning I had a moment when I looked and felt something. Did I missed something for all these years? The only problems that I had was there were too many of "ifs" and "whys", mingling around in my ocean of emotions. My face crinkled. Stop making that stress face, you just increased the number of pimples on your face, you silly.

I hate don't like when he wants me to tell him how to make things normal again. I mean that wasn't one of my favourite question that I have to answer. Seriously, I do want to make things to be normal again. For how long our boat has to sail on a rough and wild ocean? We need a get back to where we belong. I love you and I know you love me too.

So I learned something from what had happened to both of us. Express ourselves, our feelings and our desires. Don't hold back and let go. Pause to reflect then move on because time and tide waits for no men. Empty your heart from arrogance because this life is not all about us, there are a whole lot of other things that matter out there. Life is about giving back, about others, about sharing.

As time passed by, I should realized that we'd grown up. And so do our relationship. We have to treat each other like adults. Understand each other feelings. Don't let your past control our relationship. Dear, let's move on and start everything all over again. I will never ever trying to screw up your life honey like what she said. You have to know that sometimes being cynical doesn't mean one is being egoistic and such.

And to whom it may concern,
Thanks for forcing me into a lot of things that I should stop doing. I'm now seeing things brighter and brighter and less mediocre. You make me realized one thing that is for sure..I made a mistake..a huge mistake in choosing you as my so-called best friend. And mistake cannot be corrected by making another mistake.

It seems like all my 'ifs' and 'whys' are flying away. And I have to start a new chapter in my life...And it is CHANGE & MOVE ON..

Oh yes, something happened for me yesterday. And I'm happy for what I've got. Syukur, Alhamdulillah.

Hugs and kisses,

I want a guy......

• who can wrestle with me and let me win...
• who I can talk to about anything...
• who puts my cold hands in his warm hoodie pockets...
• who let me use his sweatshirt for a pillow...
• who says I LOVE YOU and means it...
• who will kiss me in the rain, in the sunshine, and in the snow...
• who calls me unexpectedly...
• who realizes that I say things but don't always mean them...
• who I can go swimming with on hot days...
• who can tell me his problems and let me help...
• who will kiss me and tell I'm beautiful...
• who will always be by my side when I need him...
  
• who simply be mine to hold...

Hugs and Kisses,

My so-called Birthday Boyfriend

It's been a week since my last birthday. Birthdays are wonderful time of year, but not just for the good reasons that make kids love them such as presents, birthday cakes, hoards of attentions and the validation of telling everyone "Hey, I'm a year older now!". However, even though birthdays come once in a year but good birthdays come a few an far between. I always had pretty lousy birthday for almost every years. I have to wreck my brain to remember when was the last time I celebrate my birthday with him?

My 24th birthday was not that lousy as my previous one as I had Farini to accompany me while I was having a slice of cake. Last year I had to eat and enjoy my birthday cake alone. Thanks Farini for everything. I owe you one. Oh yes, before I go too far, I'm now talking about my so-called boyfriend. Sometimes I feel so jealous with my friends who always get surprises from their love ones. Me? Please don't ask.

Not a date, not a surprise, not a present - I only got one present this year, by the way, and it is from ME- not a birthday card, nothing. I remember I called him on my birthday night, and he had no mood to entertain me. I asked him why? And he said he's busy studying with some of his dudes. So I don't mind about it. But last 2 days I found out that he was hanging around with other girl, on the night I called him, or should I say, on my birthday. OMG! He cheated me on my birthday. I really don't mind if he did tell me the truth. Why he had to hide it from me? No wonder he didn't reply my sms and was acting like something was going wrong that night when I called him. Maybe that was "my birthday present".

Why he didn't realize that he won't get any chances to celebrate my birthday next year? And perhaps for years ahead as I will be posted to a place where connection is limited. People won't realize what they have until they lost it.

The clock is ticking and I'm counting every hours, every minutes and every second that I have right now.

Hugs and kisses,